Steve Glowrey

My Chase

2012-01-29T20:59:00.002+11:00

Over the past 10 years I have spent plenty of time chasing life best fitness. In fact, I chase it every year. My chase has not amounted to world championships, Olympic games appearances, or even pro status. In fact, my chase has led me to performances along way short of that – I am still a fair way off qualifying for the age-group championships at Hawaii. Does this matter? Yes and no.

The Yes – of course it matters to me. I would love to take my performances to a world-class level. But in saying that, the opportunity to do the work is given to me everyday. If I am not putting the work in, I will not get the performances out. So until I am doing all that it takes for me to put up world class performances, my chase will unlikely lead me to be world class.

The No – my chase is my chase. I love it. And as you may sense reading the paragraph above (‘The Yes’), I would love to get more from it. From time to time I have questioned whether the chase is worth it, and to me, it is. It may not be for everyone, but I love the feeling of getting very fit. This week, my chase has led me to swimming 9.5km, cycling 500km, and running 65km. I’m sitting on the couch and feeling pretty content right now.

When the Yes starts to talk loudly enough that I hear it, I ask the question. The interesting thing is that it is often the insights that I have into the world of the champions that reinforces my love of the chase….enjoy.

Adding more Intensity

2012-01-05T21:19:00.004+11:00

Since introducing the use of a power meter into my training on the bike, I feel like I have added more intensity into my weekday trainer sessions. I'm not sure whether this is truly the case, or whether I am just more aware of the intensity that I am working out now. But I am certainly much more focused on how I am applying the intensity. Is it working? I'm not so sure. There are a couple of reasons that I am not sure, with the main one being related to recovery.

With the addition of more intensity into my program, I am not sure that I have got the right balance of recovery yet. This has probably contributed to the little aches and pains that I am getting, including through my lower back. I am very used to feeling some lower back pain due to the schwannomas that I have dealt with through the thoracic, lumbar, and sacral spine. So I have a pretty good understanding of how I can go about settling things down and continuing to get some training done. In fact, over my Christmas holidays I managed to get a 24hr week done and get rid of the aches and pains. I have to admit though, part of achieving this was to drop all intensity to Ironman race pace (i.e. not rally pushing beyond being able to talk while I was training...although as I was training by myself, I can generally let the voices run wild without worrying about whether other people can hear them). While working an office job can be great for recovery, when it comes to back pain, commuting in the car to a desk job can makes things pretty uncomfortable.

As for the Christmas break, I managed to spend lots of time with my family and still get 6km of swimming, 660km of cycling and 95km of running done during the 10 day break. I'd like to have got more swimming done, I'm happy with how the 10 days went. I'll have to get some solid work done in the pool between now and Falls Creek, and might even look at getting a bike fit done to try and work on some of the little aches and pains. I am looking forward to Falls Creek as it will be an opportunity to test things out and see how I am tracking compared to last year. Although given the variability in weather up in the mountains, a direct comparison to last year may not be a great guide. As with other races, my capacity to run well normally gives me a good idea of where I am at.

No other news to report. I've really enjoyed another little training block down in South Gippsland, and Jo is about to move in to the third trimester (if any readers with Schwannomatosis have questions, please feel free to contact me through the Inspire forum - Steveoz or drop a comment here on the blog and I'll get in touch).

For those that are not familiar with the feats of Normann and Crowie (and/or those wondering the relevance of the two pictures in this post), spend a bit of time searching the web for their performances in Kona at the Ironman World Championships - very motivating.

Power to the People

2011-12-18T21:45:00.005+11:00

I've been training with a power meter for approximately two-three months now. While it hasn't really told me anything that I wasn't expecting (in fact, I was pretty much spot on with my estimates of power output based on previous performances), it has been very informative. To see the differences in power on my long rides from week to week. There is no more 'it must have just been a tough day out there'. I can see the decrease in output. Now that is not to say that I wasn't having a tough day on those days, but there is ignoring the data. I've really enjoyed finishing a ride and going through the file to say how it unfolded.

Probably the biggest thing that I have changed since getting the power meter is the quality of my indoor trainer sessions (which are all but one of my sessions each week at the moment). I am now much, much, more focused when on the trainer. My trainer sessions are focused on increasing my strength in an effort to improve my cycling. And it does need some improving - I don't think Cadel Evans will be looking over his shoulder on any climbs with my low power numbers!

I haven't tested my power levels yet, but rather tracked my long training rides and know that for me to hold 200w in a race, I will really struggle to get the best out of my run. In Wagga, I averaged 200w and spent the entire run coaxing myself in to keeping things ticking over until the next aid station. I had my slowest 20km run split in a number of years. This was a great way to really understand the impact of hitting a certain wattage. An Ironman run split is just over twice that distance. That is a long time to coax yourself into making it to the next aid station. It is much more enjoyable when you can enjoy the run (well some of it anyway :>). While I might need to be riding 200 - 220w to get myself further up in the field, doing this when I am capable of holding 180w will lead to a sub-par run (my run in Wagga felt very much like the last two Ironman races that I have done).

I still need to tweak my position of my Felt as I don't think that I am moving any faster. Given that I am in a more aero position, I might not be in a powerful position. I'll hopefully get a fit done early in the new year.

Once again, I am entering summer really motivated. I am starting the focused IM build at the end of this week and am looking forward to it. It is time to make another break through.

November 2011 - First Race for 2011/12...but there was a bigger story

2011-12-01T21:16:00.006+11:00

I raced my first triathlon for the 2011/12 summer last weekend - the Wagga Ultimate Triathlon which was raced over a 2km swim, 120km bike and 20km run. I chose this race for a few reasons, one of which was because it did not really suit my strengths. That is, I was going to have to work hard on the bike relative to the run to stay in the game. As it turns out, that plan worked better than I could have imagined. I did not suddenly discover a new found cycling talent, but I did have to work very hard thanks to a strong wind that had picked up throughout the morning. I ended the race in 21st place overall and 3rd in my age group in a time of 5hrs and 53 mins. I was hoping to be faster than that but that is not the way things eventuated.It was my first race riding with a power meter and I was really impressed with the feedback that I was able to get and on a tough day, it was invaluable to make sure that I was able to get through the run in some shape. I did blow up a bit, but I managed to hang on and finish.

I'll write a little more in my next post about my first two months of training with power and what I have found out. I think it could become another monitoring tool for my schwannomatosis.

And the bigger story for November...Jo and I are now officially husband and wife.

November Update

2011-11-07T22:01:00.006+11:00

Lots going on at the moment which has meant that when I am home with Jo, we are either enjoying each other's company or too tired to do much other than the basic chores. So, unfortunately I have let my blogging slip a little. So what have I been up to?

My basic week has been around 6-7km swimming, 250km on the bike and 60km running. I'll need to lift this volume up a little to achieve my goals this year. When I say a little, it is actually a lot. I need another 15km of running, 100km of cycling and 4km of swimming. So I need to create more time to get this training done. I have been living on 6-7hrs of sleep at night which is not sustainable. So the answer is not to keep doing more of the same - it won't work in the long run. I've got a few things to try as I work towards being able to fit more volume in again, but in the meantime, I am trying to lift the intensity of my training a little. I've found that having a power meter works well for me when it comes to this. My wattage right in front of me. I'm generally holding an average of high 180s for my long rides (5hrs) and sitting on up to 235 average for my wind trainer sessions. I haven't done any testing as yet, but will probably do so in the next few weeks. I know that my power numbers are pretty low for my body shape and weight, so I'm keen to see how I improve those numbers over this season's build to Port Mac.

I've just come back to this post after a 30min break. Jo and I have an addition to our family and he was demanding some play time. Pip is a 6mth old British Shorthair who is meowing loudly at the moment demanding that the laptop be put away so that I can play. It is now 10.30pm and if I don't give him some play time, he will go nuts when the lights go out (he can turn just about anything in to a soccer ball which means we find things in very strange places in the morning).

So, to help me work on getting more sleep in each night, I'd better cut this return to blogging short and spend a bit of quality time chasing Pip around the apartment.

My schwannomas are relatively pain free at the moment. It is always hard to know what is triggering an ache or pain, but overall, I'm feeling pretty good about where things are at on that front.

Check in again soon - I'll try and write a little more frequently...so long as Pip lets me!

The Glossy Lifestyle

2011-09-15T22:47:00.003+10:00

Running along the beach through St Kilda, Middle Park, Port Melbourne and Beacon Cove can send my mind going in at least a thousand directions, often depending on the people that I see along the way. During the week I see a lot of people that would fit in to the life that I once imagined for myself. Generally it is not that I see one person that seems to be the complete image of what I once saw as a desirable life, I see people with some traits that allow me to create a back story to. It is the back story that fits with the magazine lifestyle that I thought I was wanting.

Eleven years ago I was considering my life and the direction in which I would take it. At that stage, I did not know that I had schwannomatosis. I’d been living with some pain issues but I had not been diagnosed with the lifelong condition yet. I was studying to be a Phys Ed teacher after changing courses from a double degree in Commerce and IT. I remember looking through the magazines that come with the weekend papers and thinking that I wanted to not miss out on the glossy lifestyle due to being limited to a teacher’s wage. If only I knew myself then like I do now.

In the end, just as I was deciding which course I should pursue, I was diagnosed with three schwannomas in my spinal canal. My neurosurgeon suggested that a career that was reliant on my physical capabilities might be a little risky given the results of my MRI. So off I went to chase the life of luxury in the business world. There was only one problem – the life of luxury that I imagined had to be on my terms. I wanted to be inspired by my work at all times. I had to be able to stay fit, train and live like an athlete (spending my play time in the ocean, lakes and mountains that surrounded where I live), have a dog (or a cat – sorry Pippie), and be in control of my time so that my time in the office (my office – not my cubicle or desk) was at a time that suited me.

It took a number of years, a couple of job changes, and some serious soul searching to recognise that maybe my dream life was actually dream lives. For me to achieve my true dreams (living like an athlete, have a pet, and be in control of my time), I was better to compromise on the luxury items that would see me spend more time at my desk in my cubicle than enjoying my life.

While I haven’t quite got the balance right at the moment (I’m spending far too much time sitting in traffic and at my cubicle) – I’m working on it. The back story doesn’t go too far before it is filled with the compromise that my sporting life might take to achieve the house, car, job, and life that we see in the glossy magazine lifestyle. So yes Ken, as printed on George Michael’s t-shirts, I choose life.

Just Try and Wipe the Smile from My Face

2011-08-21T21:36:00.003+10:00

The weather here in Melbourne was fantastic this weekend. As I was returning from Dromana on my first 150km ride in preparation for the 2011/12 summer I was faced with a view not too dissimilar to the picture below. At that moment, cruising down Oliver's Hill doing between 50-60km/hr, I thought to myself "just try and wipe the smile from my face". What a way to start a weekend of training and relaxing.

My legs felt pretty dead when I finished my ride. I still managed to get a run done off the bike, but I certainly wouldn't be winning any races in transition with the change over time that I had on Saturday. I backed that ride/run up with a 2hr run and 30min swim this morning (Sunday). This is a key part to my standard week and I am glad that I have been able to get a solid weekend done with minimal soreness. Some right hamstring soreness was present after the ride and again after the run, but I have a feeling that this could be schwannoma related and not something that massage will fix.

I have actually limited massages lately to see if that would help with some ITB related knee soreness. This may sound a little counter intuitive, but I started to think that the reason it wasn't responding to treatment was that the massage was causing a schwannoma and the nearby tissue to become agitated. I thought this might be causing some muscle tightness and soreness. So rather than freeing up my soreness, the massage might have been not allowing my body to do its own healing. The alternative is to rely on self massage with the Trigger Point Therapy tools that I use. This means that I am in full control of the amount of pressure that I am putting on the more sensitive (and more likely to be the home to a schwannoma) areas.

As for my schwannomatosis, this coming week is annual MRI scan week. This year I am only get a part scan done. I'll post the results next week.

Get Lost

2011-08-09T22:41:00.004+10:00

I have just spent my evening exploring Parramatta in western Sydney. Like I have done in inner Sydney, Perth, Edinburgh, Brisbane, and London, I got myself a little lost. Not lost enough to be panicked - just enough to have to spend some time finding my bearings. I didn't think that I was going to let myself do this tonight but as it has done in the past, it just happened. Curiosity took over with the thought "I may as well go up that road/over that bridge" being the thought that won out at decision time.
Sitting here thinking about it and how my run unfolded tonight, there have definitely been times when I've applied that response to my life in general. In fact, a "may as well" decision was the reason I was able to get myself lost going for a run in Edinburgh. I don't think there is any deeper message in this. Just that it is sometimes worth letting go a little and seeing where you end up.
I'm back over at Sydney Olympic Park tomorrow night so I'll see how I go getting lost in the foot steps of champions. I'm sure a few days training at the site of the Sydney Olympics will add to my building anticipation for the London Olympics in 12 months time. The Olympics is full of inspirational "may as well" stories - I love it.

Winter Hibernation

2011-07-18T21:26:00.004+10:00

Not much to report across all fronts at the moment. I was having a few pain issues so I've arranged to have some annual scanning brought forward a little. Not too far forward, but enough to ease my mind as to whether there has been significant growth in any of the schwannomas on (or maybe not on) the watch list. Given that the scanning will take place in August, there would have to be significant growth or the pain would have to continue to cause problems for me to speak to the surgeon about acting. I am still aiming for a surgery free 2011.

I am also battling to settle my right knee soreness. I think that it may be stemming from some imbalances in my glutes following my last sciatic tumour resection. What is not clear though is why, if this is the cause, why it might be causing issues now when it hasn't been such a problem previously. The answer might be in the time that I am spending doing the little things. Stretching, single leg squats, resistance bands, and all of the other things that we know we should do but often don't do. There have been times that I have been very good at doing the little things and then other times when I haven't. Unfortunately, I have not been so good at doing the little things lately.

So rather that keep rambling, I will get off the couch and do some of the little things that will help me achieve big things in 2011/12.

Why do I have a picture of Dave Grohl above? Work ethic, drive, passion, and living life.

The Time is Now

2011-06-22T21:50:00.004+10:00

Over the last week, I have read an article in a weekend magazine that was written about a passionate, driven, and successful peer from university days, and watched an inspiring 5min TED lecture that was linked on Gordo Byrn's blog with a theme of 'being ready'. Both inspired a number of thoughts, triggering a brief exploration of possible paths to achieve a sense of achievement and betterment on a wider scale.

I've not yet resolved those thoughts, but today I did resolve something. In an email exchange with a good friend, I suggested that I was not going to be taking on any cycling challenges or focus on cycling during this year's Tour de France due to work and that time spent commuting to and from work. Ken, I would like to apologise and let you know that I kicked myself in the b*tt tonight when I thought about what I had said. I would also like to withdraw any statements that I have made about not being in a position to try and achieve my triathlon goals in the next 12mths. How do I know that I will have an opportunity beyond the next 12mths? I don't. I need to take all the steps I can now to achieve my dreams. Yes, 2011/12 may be a challenging year with some personal projects taking some focus and resources away from training, but if 2011/12 is my last chance, would I be happy with not doing everything I could to follow my dream? Probably not.

Achieving my dreams may not better the lives of many people, but hopefully, me living life as an inspired and passionate person will help bring out the best in those around me.

The time is now.

Managing Schwannomatosis

2011-06-07T22:51:00.002+10:00

This is courtesy of Chuckie V. There is no need for me to expand on this piece. Chuckie, through his writing, is one of my go-to people for advice on life. The principles in this piece are things that I aim to achieve to ensure that I keep my pain in check. I probably moderate the lift heavy things a little - making sure that I do not aggravate any tumours. It is important however, to make sure that there is some regular lifting (even if it is your own body).

http://chuckiev.blogspot.com/2011/05/caveman-guidelines.html

Not Much Training - Even Less Blogging

2011-05-31T22:46:00.006+10:00

May has been a month of limited training and even less blogging. I started to ponder running a marathon in June or July and decided that if things went well with a couple of runs, I'd sign up for the Traralgon marathon. I quickly found out that I was still dealing with a bit of soreness after the Ironman. My right knee got a little sore as a result of some ITB tightness. I've had a couple of sessions with the crew at Energize and Recharge and although I managed to get things back on track in the short term, I have re-aggravated my knee when attempting to run. So, for now, no marathons and instead, lots of run/walking, a little cycling and swimming, and of course, some fun in the snow.

Tristo White saluting on the bridge at Darby River in the Wilson's Promontory National Park. We rode there this past weekend and enjoyed the Park to ourselves. Although we did have to share the road with a mob of kangaroos and at least one emu.

The reeds are still pushed down from the water that caused the road to cave in at Darby River.

A quick run that turned into a long walk thanks to some knee soreness. Joey and I made the most of it and had a ball hiking up through the snow on Mt Baw Baw to take in the views from the summit

This shot instantly became a favourite of mine. Jo was very excited to see her first real life snow man. When I finished taking the photo, she called me over so that I could see that the snow man was not a man at all. This snow person was clearly a snow woman. I'm sure the crew in at the lodge beside the snow woman got a great laugh from seeing Jo posing with what I assume was their afternoon's masterpiece.

All of the pics above were taken in Gippsland. It really is an incredible part of the world. I highly recommend getting down there if you have a chance.

Racing to the Plan while Missing the Goal

2011-05-05T21:07:00.004+10:00

The lessons that I re-learned in my race at Port Mac in 2010 were put in to practice on May 1, 2011. Just over twelve months of thinking about the race - trying to work out how I could not only get back to my best times, but improve to break 10 hours. The year threw up some interesting challenges such as introducing a longer commute to and from work each day, and a laparotomy in late June to remove a sacral plexus tumor. These challenges were considered and factored in to my preparation.

After my operation and the subsequent early recovery phase, I built a plan. The plan was based around doing and consistency. That is it. Plain and simple. As the saying goes, simple but not easy.

So what does doing and consistency mean? There was no artistic licence applied. Doing meant not letting the possible excuses for not training win out in my thinking about whether I was going to get on my bike, go to the pool, or put on my running shoes. Consistency meant that I would be doing every day. Doing and consistency lead me to an unprecedented run of over six months without a day off through injury, illness or laziness. No zero exercise days for over six months. That is something that I am very proud of. Those with schwannomas would know that keeping all things in your life in sufficient balance to be able to exercise every day for over six months is no mean feat.

Doing and consistency led me to a number of 17hr+ training weeks in the last three months before the Ironman. I felt that I was in 10hr - 10hr 20 shape. As it turns out, I was pretty close to that. I managed to stick to the plan and push myself even though I was losing time. I think I only over cooked a little before the run and so only lost a bit of time rather than the poor run that I managed to dish out last year. As my goal time slipped past, I dropped my head a little, but kept on pushing. I knew that I was doing all that I could and that I had taken the right steps to make sure I could still run when I got off the bike - something that I had not done in 2010.

For the first time in a long time, I am likely to exceed 14mths without an operation. This brings a smile to my face. Regular operations was taking a toll, physically and emotionally. Even if it is only an extra 10mths, to have two years between operations would allow me to get a little bit more momentum in both triathlons and life. It seems like doing and consistency is a pretty valuable motto for life as well.

Port Mac Race Week Pics

2011-05-05T07:25:00.004+10:00

I'll post a blog about the Ironman in the next few days. I finished in 10hr31min - not the sub 10hrs that I was really hoping for, but I am happy with how I executed my race.

These are some pics from the days leading up to the race.

The Central Governor

2011-04-19T21:26:00.005+10:00

I was listening to an interview with Professor Tim Noakes while on my long run over the weekend, and it got me thinking. Prof Noakes believes that the brain plays a critical role in determining the physical limits of the human body while exercising - the Central Governor. Prof Noakes believes that the Central Governor can be easily trained. This may explain why training that can not logically improve performance solely based on a physiological response to that single session can seemingly improve performance in competition.

The concept of the central governor is one that resonates with me on a number of levels. For this post, I'll focus on how I believe my athletics has been influenced by my Governator thanks to surgical treatment.

In my first half ironman, I noticed that I had seemingly lost some of my former competitive edge. Former meaning prior to having two laminectomies to remove three spinal schwannomas. It was the first time that I had been through surgery for my schwannomatosis (which at that stage was not diagnosed). I had gone from being a competitive australian rules footballer, cricketer - basically anything competitive, I would be in there trying until I won out. But when I started in triathlons, this seemed to be missing a little. Sure I was still competitive, and I wanted to place better than I was in the field (i.e. not towards the back of the field), but the fire wasn't quite there. In retrospect, my Governator may have been limiting my pain - not wanting to take my body to the same levels that I had experienced through living with the spinal tumors and then the surgery.

At the time I decided that maybe I was just more at peace and happy just to be out there playing rather than playing for the win at all times. I have since realised that this was not the case. And I think that the central governor theory might help explain why I wasn't as willing to do all that it takes in the heat of battle to win.

It took a while for me to push myself physically and re-train the Governator to feel the burn of intense exercise. In some areas, such as contact and high impact sports, I still haven't really physically tested myself since that first operation. In others, I have gone much further than I ever did before (and I will see if I have taken that another step further in two weeks time at Port Macquarie).

Living with schwannomatosis means that surgery will probably be part of your life. For some people it will be a small part, and for others, a large part. When you are doing the hard work recovering, don't forget to set yourself some challenges. Try re-training your Governator to allow you to get back to, or exceed, your former physical limits.

On a different note, my taper is going well. I was told today at work that I am looking 'less tired' than I did two weeks ago...that is a great sign. The pic below was taken by Jo while we were down at the Middle Brighton Baths on Sunday. I was wearing in my new wetsuit - thanks Joey!

Taper 2011

2011-04-12T21:47:00.004+10:00

Not much to report this week. I've started my taper towards Ironman Port Mac. Given that my volume during the week is not high, there will not be a significant reduction in my mid-week sessions. My weekend training will move from around 185km on the bike on Saturday to 150km this week and then 100-120km next weekend. My long run from 2hrs 30min back down to 2hrs and then 1hr 40min.

WTC have published the pro list for Port Mac and I am excited. Since starting in triathlons I have followed Cam Brown's career and admired all that he has achieved. Cam is listed as a starter in the Half Ironman that is scheduled for the same day as the full Ironman. I'll be keeping my eyes out for Mr Brown in the lead up to the race. I'd love to pick his brain about training and how to change things each year to continue to keep fresh and improving.

A Restless Night Brings Schwannomas to Life

2011-03-29T21:22:00.005+11:00

I'm five weeks out from Ironman Port Macquarie and am still in the midst of solid training so I will keep this post short. I have managed to keep Schwannoma related pain to a minimum throughout the build so far. When I say Schwannoma pain, I mean the pain that I have come to learn as being associated with a Schwannoma. It differs with the location of the tumour and the interplay with the surrounding body parts. In general, it is a distracting discomfort that heightens to unpredictable throb-like sensations that are even more distracting.

On Sunday night I couldn't sleep. For no particular reason, I just couldn't sleep. I have learned to not stress when I am lying awake. Just to relax and accept that every now and then, people have bad nights. What I didn't consider was that I would be dealing with pain the next day because of the lack of sleep. I had been managing things quite well, and although I've been getting less than seven hours some nights, I have been getting better at just turning off one night a week and on the weekends to make sure I got some rest. Unfortunately, a night of four hours was a tipping point. What surprised me was how quickly I was able to minimise the pain. One night of going to bed 20mins earlier than I have been, with some quiet time leading up to going to bed, meant that today (Tuesday) has been relatively pain free.

Moderate exercise (well, maybe not quite moderate for me at the moment. I am averaging around 17-18hrs per week), balanced diet, rest, and trying to stress the little things less seems to be a much better way to go than pain meds. Obviously pain meds have their place, but the longer I go without them, the less I feel the impact of Schwannomatosis.

Proving Yourself in Training

2011-03-13T20:28:00.003+11:00

A little later in the week than planned, but still within the week. I am writing this post to share what I learned about managing money through endurance sports - proving yourself in training before performing on game day.

It is not surprising that we learn lessons in life pursuits that provide insight into other areas of our lives, but this one is a little surprising as it is a fundamental concept and I have a Bachelor of Commerce and am a Chartered Accountant.

In long distance triathlons (and from my experience other endurance sports), pacing is critical. In Ironman, pacing errors in the first hour can potentially cost you an hour (or more) later in the day. This is definitely a lesson learnt the hard way. So how do you avoid totally blowing it with your pacing? You take what you have learned in training and apply it to your racing. If you have not seen signs of riding faster than 30km/hr in training on your long rides, why would you head down the road ripping it at 35km/hr and expect to be able to deliver? Just because it is game day doesn't mean that you are 10 times the athlete you were the day before. Sure you might have a great day - but you are the same athlete that you were the day before. In the months leading up to that race, if you were capable of riding at 35km/hr, you would have seen the signs in training. You would have been performing at levels that demonstrate the capabilities of a 35km/hr rider.

Just because you ride with other riders that regularly ride at 35km/hr in races doesn't mean that you should ride at that pace. You may feel that you look fitter or that you train more than them. But there is a lot that you won't know. How does that 35km/hr rider feel when they are on that pace? How many years have they demonstrated a capacity to deliver at that level of performance? There are many more questions that you will not know the answers to when you look across at that rider. The questions that you should be asking are more relevant to your pacing. Have I felt like this in training? Can I go faster and still stay strong for the duration of the event? Have I tried pushing harder in training? How did that work out for me?

I am not saying that all athletes are able to predetermine their outcome before delivering their performance. Just because the signs are there, doesn't mean that they have been read correctly. The surprises seem to come when athletes, particularly athletes new to a sport, don't know how to read the signs in training or feel things were going well at times, but didn't know things were going that well. Either way, the race day performance often reflects a well executed pacing strategy in which the athlete performs to a level that they have demonstrated to be within their capabilities through training or previous race performances.

In managing money, similar concepts apply. You need to demonstrate a capacity to live within your means before expanding your lifestyle. The same applies for a business. Before expanding on to new lines, new acquisitions and bigger target markets, performance needs to be proven as sustainable and within means before taking the next step. Why is this the case? Just as game day doesn't make you 10 times the athlete you were in training, expanding the size and/or complexity of your personal money affairs, or your business, doesn't place you in a better position to manage from.

What does this mean practically? Have you proven your capacity to pay all your bills and manage the 'unexpected' costs of life as they arise? Before taking out a loan, ask yourself honestly if you have proven your capacity to put away the equivalent to the loan repayments and still pay for the costs of life. Before considering down-sizing your lifestyle to cater for a new ongoing expenditure item such as a loan, prove that you have the capacity to live happily on that downsized lifestyle. Don't look to those around you and believe that you should be living a similar lifestyle - there are a lot more questions in life that affect one's lifestyle than there are related to the cycling pace of a triathlete.

My own personal experience is one that demonstrates learning this lesson the hard way. I looked around and decided that I could live a certain lifestyle and was entitled to do so. I justified this by telling myself that I was not after a lavish lifestyle at all, I did however deserve xyz. That sense of entitlement locked me in to ensuring that my salary went up. Luckily it did. Unluckily, the costs associated with managing my schwannomatosis also went up, as did other costs of life. By not proving to myself that I had capacity to live within my means first, the expansion of my lifestyle to be of a level that I believed I should be entitled to led me to learning the lesson the hard way. And the result, I am still in the midst of the hard work to correct the early 'pacing errors'.

But I have learned the lesson, and I have not fallen in to the trap again. When I am asked whether I am going to look to an international race to try and qualify for Hawaii. The answer is yes - but not until I have proven my capacity to deliver a qualifying performance in an Ironman distance race.

This topic is something that I feel that I am somewhat of an authority. Why? Because I learned the concepts the hard way. And unfortunately, when you don't get this one right, it is only after you have learned the hard lesson that the hard work begins.

Quick Update

2011-03-07T22:33:00.002+11:00

This is another quick post as it is getting pretty late. I will post again later this week. In the meantime, I've had another good week of training and although I have had a slight setback, things are still on track.

I managed to aggravate my foot last Sunday and although it stayed in the manageable zone all week, I decided to go to the physio today to make sure there was not a looming stress fracture. Thankfully, I don't need to stress about a stress fracture, but I do need to give my foot a little bit of a rest. Cycling is still OK, as is swimming without kicking. I'll keep running to a minimum this week (i.e. shouldn't run until the weekend but am giving myself a little bit of room to move just in case things are feeling good by...Thursday maybe). I'm feeling pretty positive about how my build up is going towards the Ironman and feel that if I can keep focused for the last eight weeks, sub 10 for number 10 is within reach.

I'll post later this week on what I have learned about managing money from endurance sports.

Busy February

2011-02-24T21:30:00.002+11:00

I'm coming to the end of a really busy month and am hoping March is a little less crazy. A nephew's birthday, two weddings and a race has made for some busy weekends.

Last weekend started a little early. I took Friday afternoon off work and drive up to Mildura with Jo. After a slow start on Saturday morning, I managed to get 187km done on the bike and 7km of running off the bike before quickly eating, showering and getting to the wedding that we were there for. The next day I had a solid run, feeling stronger as the run went on. I think I probably covered around 31-32km in 2hrs38min. I'm not sure whether it is just mental, but I definitely feel stronger in my long runs this year. Let's see if that holds true in Port Mac.

That's all for this week.

Fun at Fall's Creek

2011-02-15T21:45:00.004+11:00

Hi All - I'm sorry I have been quiet on the blog front for a little while, February is a really hectic month for me this year. But luckily it is not all work. I spent last weekend with Jo up at Fall's Creek for the inaugural Fall's Creek Long Distance Triathlon (2km swim, 80 km ride, and 20km run). We had a great weekend hanging out in the village. The summer population of Fall's Creek is just 64 people, so even with an influx of 600 triathletes and their families and friends, the place is still pretty quiet - perfect for escaping the city.

The weather in the lead up to the race had been wet. Very wet. In fact, on the way up to Fall's Creek on Friday evening, we passed several work sites where the road had been damaged due to land slides. And although the bulk of the rain had passed, the forecast for Fall's Creek over the weekend was minimums in the single digits (Celsius) and maximums sneaking into double digits. I was preparing for a cold race. So were the race organisers. All the competitors were sent an email with an article by elite triathlete Dr Mitch Anderson outlining how to avoid hypothermia.

I got up and headed out for a ride on Saturday morning to take a look at the course. It was the first time that I had been up at altitude (1,600m - so not high altitude) for training or racing in a number of years.

I'm glad that I went out. It gave me an opportunity to get a feel for riding with limited visibility due to the fog. I am also glad that the place where we stayed is a ski lodge and they had a drying room in our apartment. My cycling shoes were drenched by the time I got home. So after a quick purchase of some cycling booties from CBD Cycles at the race expo, Jo and I went back to our apartment, and contemplated what the following day would bring. What a difference 24 hours would make. The pics below are taken on race morning - it was stunning.

I got through the swim in good time - 34min and change. I had guessed that I would swim around 35mins, so I was really happy with that result. The water was 15 degrees (Celsius), so with two swim caps on, it was fine. In saying that, I was very careful not to go off to fast at the start. I have been caught out before in cold water when I go out hard and can't get into a good breathing pattern.

Once out on the bike, it took me about one lap (of three) to get my heart rate settled (around 150bpm) and find a pace that I was comfortable with. The ride was much easier than the day before when there was water on the road and limited visibility. I was lucky in only having to worry about faster riders coming through on one of the winding descents. I am not a strong descender and in some races, I can get very nervous with what is coming from behind at a rapid pace on the down hill sections.

All in all it was smooth sailing on the bike (2hr 36min), with the exception of some stomach issues (had been a problem for a few days leading in to the race) and losing the lid to my spares bottle (just tucked the bottle in to my pocket so that I didn't drop any potentially crucial tubes or tyre levers).

Feeling a little funny in the stomach, I headed out of transition asking where the nearest toilets were on the course. Response number one, 'keep going that way'. Response number two, 'there are none, try the bushes'. I decided that I would head out for a few km and then take my pit stop. After a quick stop, I set about executing a well paced run, remind myself to do 'nothing stupid'. This mantra delivered me a solid run split of 1hr 28min, the 35th fastest split of the day, including the teams.

Overall, a solid result and I am happy with a my race. I took a few lessons away from the day and have started to learn how my gut responds to racing following my laparotomy. Everything is moving in the right direction for Port Mac.

Healthy - Not Just Fit

2011-02-02T21:56:00.002+11:00

Last summer I spent my entire Ironman preparation chasing base fitness. After a disappointing race, I believed that I simply hadn't done the work. When I look through my training diary and compare it to other years, there are three things that differ:

1. Less Foundation Laying: After an operation much later in the year than I have had previously, and two operations in the twelve months leading to the Ironman, I did not spend nearly as much time laying the foundations as I normally would. In general, I spend three or four months doing between 12-15hrs per week of general aerobic swimming, riding, and running. Last year, the foundation just wasn't deep enough.

2. More Volume in Specific Build-up: During the final three months, I did more riding and running than I had done previously. Because of my shoulder (recovering from brachial plexus schwannoma resection), my weekly swimming totals were not near the previous years volume.

So when we put the first two together, we get to the third, which was the most noticeable in training (and in everyday life).

3. Fit Not Healthy: With a limited foundation and some more miles (plus the stress of moving cities), I was getting fit, but I was susceptible to sickness and the fact that I felt off on race day probably reflects this.

How will this year differ? I have taken more time laying the foundations and I am willing to take back off to absorb my training when needed. What is interesting is that when I had an eye ulcer manifest last week, it responded really well to the treatment and I was able to train through without any perceived additional stress. To me, this is a sign that I have a good balance going between fit and healthy - particularly given that I am not spending nearly as much time training outdoors as I was in Canberra.

I'm hoping to increase my training volume a little more over the next two months, and I am feeling much more confident that I will not be dealing with pain issues and muscular tightness at previous surgery sites and current schwannoma sites.

Schwannomatosis and Life - Part II

2011-01-16T21:49:00.009+11:00

In my last blog about schwannomatosis and life, I wrote about the challenges that I have faced in balancing work with managing my health. A friend of mine said that he found the post a little depressing. As this was not the intention (it is quite possible that the strain of the last 18mths was taking its toll), I thought that a follow up piece was required. In fact, this blog's purpose is to give others some insight into the challenges that come with schwannomatosis - and the joy that comes with achieving your goals despite of those challenges.

In May this year, I hope to achieve Legend status at the Australian Ironman triathlon (finishing the event 10 times). While my goals include qualifying for Hawaii and getting some faster times, overall I want to live an athletic life, and I am. Despite of the schwannomatosis, I am true to the sportsperson that I have always been. The impact of schwannomatosis on my athletic life is not really known. It has certainly slowed me down around operations, but I am my own experiment in what can be achieved. That concept is one that I remind myself of whenever I am trying to drag myself out of the troughs that come with the challenges. The benefit of having a rare condition such as schwannomatosis is that there is not a lot of literature out there telling you that you can't. Like anyone else, we get to define our own paths.

This past week, I spent I flew interstate for work for one day and then on the next, I was sitting back in my home state evaluating a software package for work. This would have been the sort of thing that sounded pretty neat to me when I was finishing university, and eight years later (and six operations), I am living that life.

So despite the challenges, goals can be reached, and new goals can be made. Schwannomatosis is relentless, but so can you be in your desire to live your life. Don't allow yourself to measure achievement by the definitions set by others. Measure your success against the challenges you set yourself.

Live your life re-defining what is possible for you.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” - Theodore Roosevelt

Off and Racing for 2011

2011-01-04T21:58:00.003+11:00

It is getting late so I will just post some pics from the race that I did on the weekend (1.2km swim, 40km ride, and 7km run). It was a really good way to get things going for 2011. My training in the week leading up to the race was pretty solid, but fairly unstructured. It was a great way to feel rested while still getting some work done. Being on holidays helped a lot as well.

This photo makes it look like I was going in to the water alone (that is me with the wave at my knees). Jo assures me that there were others under the water at this stage and that I didn't hang out on the beach waiting for the crowd to depart before slowly making my way into the water. I'm not so sure...It looks a lot calmer in the photo above than it did as I was trying to make my way to the first buoy.

I'm not sure if this one has come out well, but I think I am about half way through the bike.

1km down and 6 to go. I quickly picked up two places in the first 2km and was working hard to drop anyone near me.

I was surprised to see my knees being raised still in this pic. We ran along the beach for a couple of hundred metres prior to getting to the finish chute. I passed one of the competitors coming down on to the beach, so it was no romantic stroll along the waters edge for me. I put my head down and went for it. The guy I passed was a local and I knew that he would know which line to pick if he was anywhere near me as we approach the last bend up to the finish chute. Luckily my hard work on the beach paid off.

So I finished the week with around 6km swimming, 440km cycling and 50km running (including sub four minute/km for the last 7km of the week. I felt good (except for the start of the swim) and think that the hard work of recovery from my last operation is done.

Weekend in Paradise

2010-12-26T21:42:00.003+11:00

I've just got home from spending Christmas with some of my family in South Gippsland, which is the southern most tip of mainland Australia. It is an amazing playground for the outdoors inclined. I didn't fully appreciate it when I was growing up, but now I can not believe how lucky I was to have all of this in my backyard.

Below are a some photos taken while I was out riding this morning.

This photo is taken from near the house that I grew up in. The coast line is about 4km behind me. There is quite a bit of industry off the coastline, so there is no beach access any more from this road.

I rode along the highway at the foot of the hills and then turned into the hills to ride into the Tara Bulga National Park. This shot is taken from within the Park. The pics below are a mix of in the park and on the edge of the park.

This is a back road that linked the National Park to the highway - nice and quiet, just the sort of road I love riding on.

So that is how I spent the Boxing Day morning. 150km of playing in paradise. South Gippsland is an awesome place to train. You have to be able to handle the wind and rain as there is plenty of both - but the elements are part of what makes this place so beautiful.

I'm hoping to get some good training in over the next week, so I will try and post a little of what I am up to. I'm still having a few gut issues while training after the laparotomy, but hopefully I can settle these over the next month or two. I think that I will need to look at my diet as part of sorting this out.

Focus on Focusing

2010-12-13T20:20:00.004+11:00

Back in 2006 I was changing jobs. The deal had been signed, sealed, and delivered thanks to a very good reference by an ex-colleague (one that I was about to be reunited with). This didn't mean that all protocol could be skipped - particularly since the job was as an Internal Auditor. The final stage that was required was a psych test. The results of the test showed that I needed to improve my goal setting. At the time, we all laughed that off. I mean, I was completing my Chartered Accountancy qualifications, starting preparations for my fifth Ironman Australia triathlon, and moving my way up the ladder in mid-tier accounting firms (well, I was moving from the second to the third rung, but it was still moving up). How could that not be the profile of someone that was setting goals? Easily. I was moving with the flow and working hard, but probably not working effectively towards what I truly wanted. This is something that I only identified a little later on, and when reading over the results of that psych test, it was spot on in regards to my goal setting.

It may not surprise you to read that this trait is one that has spilled into my sport at times. It is very easy in triathlon to do the work without a focus. Scanning through results and old training diaries is generally a good way to identify if this is a trap that you have fallen into. Similar results and similar training. It can still be fun, but there is an improvement ceiling for all of us that we hit if we are not focused on what needs to be improved.

So if I am looking to improve my triathlon results and also to live my life with more direction, I need to focus. So my goal for 2011 (I have given myself a one month head start) is to focus on focusing. In addition to focusing on focusing, I have set out the following athletic goals:

- Sub 36min 10km

- Sub 1hr20min half marathon

- Sub 10hr Ironman

I have set out some other goals in my personal life that I will share throughout the year.

You may think that focusing on focusing is not only an awkward phrase, but is actually easy to deliver on. Maybe it is for you, but for me it will require a dedication to stay the course. Not being distracted by all that glistens and worrying about things that I can't control and shouldn't be concerned with. Instead, I will focus, listen to my inner calling, relax, and enjoy the ride.

When Even the Good News Has a Sting

2010-12-02T21:28:00.003+11:00

This time last week I was celebrating the news that my last surgery had gone really well. So well, that the follow up MRI (6mths post op) showed a better result than Mr D (my neurosurgeon) expected. I hadn't seen the results as the scan was only done earlier that day. Mr D was reading the results via his access to the electronic copy of report. I generally do my best to get the results of my scans before I see a Doctor/Surgeon (this has at times been quite a mission, as the people doing the scans are acting as an agent for the refering practitioner, so the results have to go to them first...unless you say that you are collecting the results to take to the Doctor/Surgeon :>). You really need to prepare for your time in appointments, but this time I didn't get the chance. Instead, we discussed the positive aspect of the results and didn't put the results in context of previous results. I did this last night after I received a copy of the report in the mail.

On reading the report, I realised that the good news wasn't all good. Two schwannomas in my lumbar spine have shown some growth over the last 18mths, which was not enough to raise any concerns, but it was enough for me to know that I was looking at more operations down the track. There were some smaller schwannomas noted as well. It really would be good to stop growing these things. I need to get on to trying some Propolis to see if that will help combat my body's desire to grow schwannomas.

So I have done my best over the last couple of days to step through my usual process of acknowledging the results, discussing them Jo, and then after a little bit of moping, I ask myself how these results change my life. And the truth is, nothing in those results tell me that I have to make changes. That doesn't mean that I won't make changes, but it is important to acknowledge that there is no need to make changes.

I know that S & N had some good news in NZ last week, but like me, there is always a little sting in the news. It is fantastic that I have been able to get to know them a little through this blog. Maybe one of the changes that I do make will be to stop putting off a trip across to the land of the long white cloud.

Getting the opportunity to read over the results from last weeks scanning and knowing that there will be more surgery in the coming years hasn't dampened my spirits when I think about the year ahead. I haven't had 12mths without surgery since 2006. 2011 could be a very good year for training and racing. Bring on Ironman Port Macquarie 2011!!

Feeling Good

2010-11-22T20:58:00.003+11:00

Not much to report at the moment. I am getting keen to race soon. I'm not really sure what sort of event, but hopefully I am racing something in the next few weeks. My training is going well and I would like to throw in some external stimulus to see how a harder effort feels. I'm keen to get some longer distance racing done before the Ironman so that I can test my gut a little. I am still having some issues during my longer Saturday sessions which aren't really causing a problem at the moment, but may do over another few hours of effort.

I'm regularly hitting around 15hrs a week with seven hours during the working week and another eight hours across the weekend. The weekends have a high emphasis as they are the key run and ride sessions. I am getting in 150km+ on Saturday morning on the bike followed by 8km running off the bike at 5min/km pace or faster. My Sunday run is 2hr (this weekend was 2hr10min) running between 4:30 and 5min/km pace for most of that run. On the weekend just been, I dropped the hammer a little for my last lap of the Tan, holding a solid 4min/km pace for the last 16mins of a 2hr10min run. I felt very good finishing and have come away from the run in a really positive mood.

Adding to that positive vibe, Jo and I have rigged up a block-out curtain in the bedroom so that we can sleep a little better without having a street light shining straight into the room. I am sure that my sleep hasn't been the best for a little while now, and I am hoping that by creating a darker space, I might be get more rest. And more rest, means more recovery and less chance of schwannomatosis pain.

I have a follow up appointment this week to see how things are looking post laparotomy and tumour resection. On the same day, I'll have my fingers crossed for some friends from NZ - good luck guys, I hope you have a positive appointment and move closer to a solution.

Training Camp No.1

2010-11-05T07:38:00.003+11:00

The weather forecast leading in to my planned training camp was not great. In many parts of the state, 100mm of rain was expected on Saturday, and some more rain on Sunday. So I knew that I would have to be flexible with the schedule, but was hopeful that by heading north west, I would avoid the worst of it. That flexibility was called upon almost straight away. Our planned destination for night one was all booked out. The Wycheproof races had drawn a massive crowd and all accommodation in Wychyproof and surrounding towns was full. We decided that we should stay in Bendigo which meant that I would not be riding on any of the roads that I had been sussing out on maps for the last week. The new plan was to head out to Kerang and then west through Quambatook, towards the Calder Highway. Jo was going to meet me along the way, about 6hrs after my departure. I was really keen to get some footage along the way, but when it started raining, I was not really able to get a good grip on my phone, so from an entire weekend of training, I have one short video of a road...don't think that I will be transitioning to a career in media any time soon.

Even with the rain, the ride was sensational. For the last 50km I was on open roads with very few cars. I stopped at an intersection to get my bearings and realised that I couldn't hear any traffic, people, anything. It was fantastic.

View Larger Map

The plan worked perfectly and Jo met me on the road. I put some dry clothes on and put the bike in the back of the car. We drove for another two hours before I made my second road side clothing change for the day, and put my running gear on. I ran the last 13kms+ to our destination. I finished the day very content with the days training. 185km on the bike and 13km running.

Sunday's training included a 60km ride into Mildura to the pool. I jumped straight into the pool and did a 30min straight swim which was a little over 1,500m. After doing some work in the afternoon, I did a 14km run. This is a lot shorter than my usual Sunday long run, but in the scheme of the training weekend, the focus was on riding and backing up the next day - which is exactly what I did.

Monday morning was a quick 70km ride beside the Murray River on the Victorian side between Colignan and Mildura. Perfect weather - awesome way to start the day. Jo and drove back to Melbourne that afternoon, and I didn't do any training on the trip home.

It was a great weekend and exactly what I needed to get myself re-enthused and focused for the season ahead. I am already feeling stronger for the training and have just finished another good weekend. I have some more scanning on at the end of November, so hopefully the schwannomas are doing the right thing and are going to let me have a good go at breaking 10hrs in 2011.

The Fire Within

2010-10-28T06:55:00.002+11:00

Earlier this week my mind was drifting a little at work. I was reviewing compliance with a contract, and needed to stay on task, so I didn't take the time to write this blog while the thoughts were fresh. Instead, I wrote down the theme and decided to come back to it later. I can't remember what triggered the thought path that led me to thinking about motivation and being true to oneself, but I don't think that the starting point was that important.

When in Scotland in 2005, I was getting some soreness that was causing me quite a bit of concern. At that stage, I was not yet diagnosed with the number of Schwannomas that I have since been aware of in my body. I had been through three laminectomies for spinal Schwannomas, but the thought was that I didn't need to worry too much about getting more. However, when the pain was present, I was fairly sure that I knew what was causing it. I started to look in to getting scanning etc done in Scotland, but decided that I should return to Australia and get things looked at. I spoke to my boss who told me there was no gold watch or glory in sticking it out if I was concerned about my health, and that I should take care of my health. I did return home fairly promptly after that conversation, but I should have stayed for a little longer. It is easy to say that now with a much better understanding of the diagnostic process - and an actual diagnosis of Schwannomatosis.

The message that has stuck is about the 'gold watch' or glory that some of us might use as motivation. That someday we will be appreciated for all the trials and tribulations that we have encountered in our personal lives that have made other elements of our lives, such as work, more difficult. It is highly unlikely that there will be any external reward or recognition for overcoming these hurdles. The motivation has got to come from within. We have to be able to accept that it is ourselves that must feel pride with overcoming our difficulties on a daily basis. We must find reward enough in overcoming the challenges that are thrown to us. When the challenges are relentless and do not provide hope of the 'Hollywood happy ending', the fire within needs to be strong. And it is on that point that I believe being true to oneself makes stoking the fire a much easier task.

I am a believer in the concept of there being more than one version of ourselves and because of that, there is no one true path that we should follow. Instead, we all have multiple paths that align with the various versions of ourselves that we have created. For some, including myself, these different versions can run in conflict with each other if there is an inner desire for achievement. It is when we are on a path that is not consistent with a life that we are happy with, or with a version of our self that we wish to further explore, that we look for external recognition of our daily battles to overcome the challenges in our lives. Accepting that this recognition is highly unlikely to come, and when it does, it is short term relief more than long lasting satisfaction, can leave you in a fairly depressed mood - sapped of all energy. When you find yourself living a life that is consistent with your values and following one, or many, of the paths that leave you believing you are being true to yourself, there is far less need for external recognition or validation. The fire within is strong enough to keep you waking in the morning, looking beyond the challenges that exist in your life, and looking forward to taking some further steps towards achieving your desired goals.

I am not true to myself in all areas of my life at present, and probably have not been for some time. In saying that, I have allowed myself to explore some of the various versions of myself that I have created and been able to decide when the reality of that version was inconsistent with my core values. The athletic version that I have explored through various sports, including triathlon, is the one that creates the a roaring fire within. It is through sport that I find my inner motivation to overcome the challenges put forward by living with Schwannomatosis. Being an athlete is my true north. If the fire within does not feel strong enough to fight your own challenges on a daily basis, don't wait for the gold watch, explore a path that feels right - stoke the fire within.

_____________

I'm heading to Colignan in north west Victoria this weekend to visit Jo's family and do a solo training camp. Really looking forward to hitting the open roads and doing some exploring on my bike. I'll try and get some pics and video from the weekend to liven the blog up a little again.

Work, Train, Sleep, Repeat - Not Much to Report

2010-10-21T07:00:00.000+11:00

Last Friday night I was in Bendigo watching Powderfinger on their final tour. The guys were awesome. I definitely walked away from the concert thinking about following dreams. There are a couple of bands that spark that feeling in me. I often feel the same way when I see footage of Cold Play live or the Foo Fighters. From the outside, these guys all appear to be living an authentic life. This is something that I aspire to as I have not quite got there as yet. I've spent quite a bit of time trying to get a plan together to fine tune the path that I want to travel, but I still seem to stumble at the final hurdle. This might be because I am trying to plan things a little too much and , because I can't see certainty in a result, I don't feel comfortable in making the change. I feel that I am getting closer, so hopefully I get through the next 12months without surgery and things start to open up a little.

I took Friday off in the lead up to Powderfinger so that I could get some training done and still make it up to Bendigo with some time to hang out with my brothers. The weather was miserable so I did a 3hr20min trainer session followed by a forty minute run. It was a hard session, but I really need to be spending some more time out on the bike. Things are looking good for Saturday weather wise, so I should be able to get a good ride in this weekend.

I still haven't managed to get my sleeping patterns sorted out and am averaging between six and seven a night. This seems to be just keeping any schwannomatosis pain at bay. I am starting to feel a little bit of pain from a schwannoma that is close to the ischial tuberosity...so I spend all day sitting on it. I slept in this morning which might make today a little bit less of a pain in the butt.

As you can probably tell from this blog post, I am in the groove of work and training, and apart from Powderfinger, there is not much to report. I am looking at a training camp based near Mildura in a couple of weeks. I'm looking forward to a couple of days of riding out on the open roads.

October Already

2010-10-11T07:23:00.003+11:00

2010 is really flying. It is already October and the Australian triathlon season is already underway in some states. The weekend victories of Mirinda C and Macca is fantastic for triathlon in Australia. Chris McCormack and Craig Alexander have won the race twice each in the last four years giving Australia a period of dominance in the race that will hopefully improve our ability to get a stable national series at home.

As for my own 2010, preparations are going well for the 10/11 season and I am getting closer to locking in my race plan. I have been keen to do a second Ironman race each year for a while now. While it may still be 2011, at this stage, I am unlikely to enter Challenge Wanaka. I would really like to do this race, but with some other projects on the cards, January 2011 may not be the time. I am also getting quite focused on making sure I do everything possible to cross the line in Port Macquarie for my tenth finish at Ironman Australia. This gives me legend status at that race. I think I will be in one of the youngest people to gain IM Australia legend status. I'm still not sure whether reaching legend status at my age is an admiral thing or not. Maybe I should have spent more time travelling and partying rather than training for the same Ironman race every summer. But I love the sport, and love that race, so I probably wouldn't change anything.

I'm still working on how to get my cycling miles in around work. I will need to try integrating some more higher intensity workouts. This will be an interesting experiment as a higher intensity will run more risk of heightening any schwannomatosis based pain. I might even try more camp style focus weekends to build my endurance. While I don't want to jeopardise my chance of crossing the line for number 10, I don't want to have another year without improvement. 2011 could be the year of going sub-10hrs.

Late Blog Posting

2010-09-27T17:12:00.007+10:00

Sorry guys, I'm pretty busy at the moment with some appointments, work, training and taking in some of the sporting events that are going on in Melbourne. Not to mention the Commonwealth Games on tv. It's getting late tonight, so I'll get a blog post up over the weekend...but then again, Hawaii is on this weekend. As a sport lover, I am in paradise at the moment!

No Longer Wicked

2010-09-27T17:12:00.006+10:00

After bragging in my last blog post about my run of consecutive days of exercise, I am laying low today. I was starting to burn the candles at both ends and luckily, I got a cold this time. When I am spreading myself a little thin, I run a greater risk of having bad pain days. Come to think of it, maybe the reason that I have got a cold first this time is that the operations from the last three years have removed the larger and/or more troublesome schwannomas. Maybe that period of a two year run (plus) without operation might be here. So to make the most of it, I need to spend less time cutting corners and more time taking action that is consistent with my goals.

On Saturday, I was lucky enough to watch a drawn AFL grand final . This has only occured two previous times in the history of the AFL (VFL). Watching Collingwood and St Kilda battle it out certainly got me thinking about playing football again. It was during my years of playing football as a junior that I started to develop my love of sport and the joy of exercise and training. My training has changed a lot from those days, as the demands of my sport have changed considerably. It has been a long time since I have done sprints or spent hours in the gym (actually, the combined time that I have spent in gyms in the last six years wouldn't even add up to an hour. When the landscape doesn't suffice for resistance training, there are always house bricks - and if they were good enough for uncle Rob, then they'll be good for me right Grandma :>).

Unfortunately, as much as I would love to still play aussie rules football (AFL is the professional league), the knocks and bumps that go along with it seem to heighten any schwannoma pain. The last few times that I have tried playing, I have not enjoyed it like I once did as I have not thrown myself into the game feeling like a Terminator. These days, I build towards that feeling for the Ironman. After an up and down year last year, I can't wait for hitting Terminator fitness again.

The pics in this post are from one of the last times that I played. It was the ICAA Football Carnival. After a couple of round-matches with a bunch of accountants and I was hobbling for weeks. To see the warriors from Saturday's drawn grand final out there again this coming weekend, ready for battle again, is incredible.

No Rest for the Wicked

2010-09-19T19:18:00.003+10:00

After two weeks of blogs focused on other things, it is time to get back to triathlon training talk. The picture above is of how my scar was looking straight after last week's long run. This wound turns a little darker after I have been stressing my body a little, but it doesn't seem to get as angry looking as my neck scars after a big training session.

For just over a month now, I have had no less than one hour a day of some sort of training. Two days a week it is just the one session of one hour, but the rest of the week I am trying to get a little more done. I am starting to feel the benefits too. I actually think that it is getting closer to six weeks with out a break. I would highly recommend, to anyone, taking a six week block of trying one hour of physical activity (or more) every day. The trick is to make sure that what ever you do on a given day does not impact the next day so much that you are not able to do anything. So for me, one hour of aerobic activity leaves me ready to go the next day.

I have been able to increase my long sessions to a 120km ride (four hours) followed by an 8km run (40min), and the day after, a 21 - 22 km run (1hr 45 - 2hr). This seems to be going quite well and I think is adding quite a bit to the feelings I have that I am really making inroads into returning to a solid fitness level. I think that I am getting close to having a lighter week or weekend though, as I am feeling a little fatigued through my abdominal region - hopefully I have managed to avoid any hernia issues!

A side effect of the increase in training which has been matched by increasing work demands has been the increase in chocolate consumption in our apartment. I have become a chocolate fiend. Having one in the house was enough - but two...Our shopping basket looks like we are getting ready for Easter. Rather than just say that I am going to cut out chocolate (the symptom), I am going to try and treat the likely cause as well - lack of sleep. This week's aim is to get more sleep. Rather than having a number of six and a half hour nights, aim for seven and a half plus. I also have to watch the impact that my recent lack of sleep will have on my Schwannomas. I don't want to start the vicious cycle that leads me down a path of soreness and feeling down. So, more sleep and less chocolate are the goals for the next month.

The Bucket List Concept

2010-09-09T20:42:00.003+10:00

Before my thoughts on the bucket list concept, I thought I would give a quick update on my training. All is going quite well. I am sneaking into the 12-14hr bracket each week for training which translates to 3-4.5km swimming, 200 - 240km cycling and around 50km running. On top of that I am getting in a little more stretching each week and aiming to do some shoulder strengthening exercises. I am still occasionally having some fatigue induced soreness and some instability through my right shoulder. I would like to be ready to swim under an hour at Port Macquarie in May without being stressed, so to be able to handle the training load (which in reality is not that great - maybe 8kms per week) I'll need my shoulder to be stable and strong. I'm also trying to introduce more bilateral breathing into my swimming. This should not be that hard, as I was probably bilateral breathing for somewhere between 0-5% of my total freestyle swimming last season. So if you are reading this Ken, be warned. The next time you decide to start throwing swimming challenges down, I'll be ready!

*****

On to the bucket list concept. I have only really started to hear the term used in general conversation since the movie was released a few years ago. For some reason, the term was one that didn't really respond well to. I understand the concept, but hearing people use the term just left me cringing a little. Until recently, I didn't really think it through. But, I decided that I needed to think this one through as the response didn't seem to be justified.

For most people, the bucket list concept is reflective of our desire to be seen to be achieving great things, and maybe to tell ourselves that we are achieving a lifestyle worth living. When I think about the things that I would like to achieve or experience in life, predominantly, they are things that present a challenge in achieving them. The thrill of the chase. While I would take a lottery spot to be starting the Hawaii Ironman any day of the week, I am happy to continue to work towards qualifying for the race. And I accept that this may end up taking many, many, years. But it is in the work that the experience is made. Now I am not saying that in my example, someone who gets a lottery spot or who qualifies straight up has not experienced the work or the thrill of the process, but I am saying that sometimes chasing a lifetime experience takes exactly that, a lifetime.

So would I buy my way to the start line? Maybe. If I had the cash, and had a real reason to skip the potential lengthy process of qualifying (e.g. illness that may be terminal or cause massive reduction in physical capacity), I'd do it. So I guess this makes racing Kona the number one thing on my 'bucket list'. For many people, this then flows to a justification of 'ticking the box' and 'crossing it off the to-do list'. I'm not a fan. To take a lifetime experience and accelerate the realisation of that experience so that you can gain a sense of achievement - where is the experience worth savouring in that?!

Now I know that the response to this may be, 'you never know what might happen tomorrow'. I can't argue with that (unless of course you are a weather person, and then it is your job to know what is going to happen the next day-but we all know that you are just guessing as well, and in Melbourne, forecasting possible rain, sunny periods with some cloud developing almost covers every day of the year). But is that really going to leave you satisfied with your achievements. Is the process of just ticking off experience after experience going to leave you having really experienced anything at all? Maybe it will.

My random thoughts have not really led to anywhere. Just a some thoughts that I wanted to get down here as opposed to unloading on my next friend, family member or colleague who tells me that they have just ticked off another item from their bucket list. Except for my mother and those friends who are very close to being awarded a PhD. That is an achievement that I am in awe of, and I will applaud you all when you tell me that this item is no longer on your bucket list (I will applaud louder if you do not use this term when telling me of your achievement).

Schwannomatosis and Life

2010-08-26T22:22:00.003+10:00

Initially I thought that I would write a piece on trying to juggle a career while managing a relentless health condition. I have only recently started to use the term relentless in relation to schwannomatosis. Since September 2007, I have had five operations to remove a number of tumors. Prior to this, there were three surgeries - two in 2001 and one in 2004. It is only since 2007 that I have had to deal with schwannomatosis as an ongoing issue. I would be lying if I said that it wasn't getting harder to bounce back. It is. And as the operations start to mount, any time that I am away from the constant exercise and management of my body, I begin to feel the sore spots left behind after the operations. So how do I find the light at the end of the tunnel? Often it is exercise. This morning, I was back to running five minute km. While this is not fast, it felt great. My mind turned to the possibilities that would come with a couple of years without operations. By the time I had turned back into my street, the light was bright and I was ready to face the world again.

So how does this relate to managing a career? Managing a relentless condition while dealing with professional relationships and workplace challenges can be very tough. The catch cry of management is that your health comes first. That only really works for those that have once off issues or battles...and I may only think that because it is not working for my situation so I am assuming it must work then. Offers of going into a negative annual leave or sick leave position on the assumption that you will recover that position over the following one year (or more) may work if you are more likely than not to return to full health. But if you are more likely to require further time off, then it isn't a smart move. You may find yourself having quickly accumulated a large negative leave balance. But this is more of an administrative issue, what about career choices?

Schwannomatosis has not necessarily limited my career choices, but it has contributed in a constant questioning of what is right for me. I know that many people go through this. The main difference for those managing a chronic health condition is trying to find a career that will provide a challenging environment at times, but one that will allow you to step away and reduce the stress when the demands of the health condition are increased. I am often asking myself whether some of the things that I was working towards are still open to me given the past three years. Probably more importantly, do I still want those things? This is another question that challenges me. I have tried to develop my abilities to compartmentalise when it comes to considering the impact of schwannomatosis on my decision making. But, when I feel the condition is relentless, I finder it harder to know the answer to the question 'am I using schwannomatosis to justify a decision that I would want to make without the condition?'

I have put a lot of thought into this and am no where near getting to a solution. At present, I think you have to give yourself the freedom to pursue a career when you feel strong and, if you feel less capable to continue to pursue that path due to your health, challenge your thinking and make sure that you are willing to step away from that path. At that point, maybe it is better to step back and remove the stress. Putting your health first may mean complete life changes are needed to give yourself time to put your health first. I have certainly believed that I have been headed down that path at various times. But remember, the best health care costs money - just another kicker in the relentless challenge of schwannomatosis.

Return to Running

2010-08-17T07:25:00.005+10:00

The annual Prom Country Challenge was held in Toora (see pic above) on the weekend. The main race of the weekend is a 30km run that takes participants from the main street of Toora to the top of Mt Best and back again. We have had around 30 entrants for the last few years which is great. In addition, we have a 6km run and walk that gets close to 100 participants in some years. My role over the last few years has been an organisational one rather than running in either of the events. This year, after being challenged by some good friends, I started the 6km participants on their way and quickly dashed to the change rooms. I'm not sure how much of a head start that I gave my friends, but I didn't expect to catch them. I hadn't tried running without any walking breaks yet and I didn't think that I would be able to really push it between walking breaks. Instead, I decided to run steady and see how far I got before I felt that I was losing form and could be risking some stress on my operation wound. It felt great. Freely running for the first time in six and a half weeks.

I am not entirely sure on the time but it was probably around 27min for 6km. I am extremely happy to be sitting on 4min30sec/km after having the time off to recover. Effort wise I was probably sitting as high as I would want to go at the moment. I think that I will wait for another couple of weeks before any intensity is put into my training. There is still a risk of over-doing it. so I will still be cautious in how much volume and intensity is included both in each session and in total across a week.

Totals for last week included 140+km on the bike, 22km running and around 10km+ walking.

Swollen Stomach

2010-08-10T07:11:00.002+10:00

Just a quick one. I'm not sure whether it was too much pressure applied during a massage, going for a longer ride out on the road, adding in some jogging, or a combination of all of the above. But I have got some swelling through my stomach region that is giving me an insight into life without exercise. I've got a little bit of discomfort associated with the swelling, but luckily, no concern with hernia. I was worried that I may have introduced too much between week 5 and week 6. Instead, I think the swelling may be due to some massage work that I had done in combination with heading out for a longer ride on the weekend. I could be in for some interesting finish line shots this summer if my abdomen swells during races.
The swelling has probably set me back a little in recovery, which is a little frustrating, but all part of the process. Otherwise, everything is swell :>

Return to Running

2010-08-04T07:03:00.003+10:00

After a successful 200m jog on my walk to the DVD store on Monday night, I decided to go for a run last night. To reduce the cumulative fatigue factor, I went for an equal work - rest ratio of 1:1. This seemed to work really well and I managed to get through the 8km in 54min 30sec. It was great to be out there running again and I am starting to move back towards my basic week structure. I have still only been for one swim and will hopefully test the waters again later in the week.

Otherwise, recovery is going well. There are a few issues, but mostly things are going well. I'm feeling a little mentally fatigued after my fifth operation in a little under three years. The work required to bounce back is mentally hard. As more operations are required, the light seems to fade a little at the end of the tunnel. When this light is fading a little, the simple things like running seem to be able to re-ignite the flame for me. The timing couldn't have been better for getting back out there.

I'll try and get my piece on Schwannomatosis and work out later this week.

Daily Exercise

2010-07-23T06:56:00.004+10:00

I've had a full week (almost, Friday today) back at work this week and have managed to get an hour of exercise done each day. Balancing returning to work and saving enough energy for physiotherapy/rehabilitation can be very tricky. There are the income pressures that can come after time off work but in the long run, you will return to full energy faster if you do the rehabilitation. It is also really important to not use sugar as a means of keeping you going in the late afternoon. If getting up and going for a quick walk doesn't buy you a little extra focus, then it is time to start to consider whether you should pull the pin for the day - assuming your employer has given you flexibility for your recovery. Speaking of employment, I'm going to work on a piece that discusses the challenges of managing Schwannomatosis and a career. It is not that I believe that I balance this well, it is an area where I have struggled to find much on. There are often times when I reach out over the web to see how others are coping, and this is an area where I have not had huge success in getting information.

The wound from my laparotomy is healing really well and I have been given the all clear to commence swimming. I've been warned of the dangers (hernia) of taking the physical load too far in the first six weeks, so will probably hold off any running until then. In the meantime, I've got the Tour to keep me inspired while on the indoor trainer and a great walking buddy to chat with while I am marching around St Kilda.

Another Quick Update

2010-07-14T21:52:00.003+10:00

I'll keep this fairly short as I have had a pretty big day. Today is two weeks since surgery and I am still really happy with how things are going. The surgery hasn't been without its complications, but overall, I am feeling far better than I expected.

I spent almost five hours in at work today and after a rest this afternoon, I was able to do a one hour ride on the indoor trainer. I was just spinning but, as has been the case after other surgeries, my heart rate was easily elevated to around 120-140 bpm. It felt great to be on the bike. I sat up and spun with very little resistance and a big smile on my face. The smile was the same stupid grin that I had plastered across my face out walking yesterday. The walk was 5km. I walked on my usual Tuesday running route down along the Esplanade in St Kilda while listening to the guys from IM Talk (www.imtalk.me). I find that incorporating elements of my 'basic training week' into recovery helps me maintain motivation during the recovery process.

It's getting late and I'm going to try for a little longer in at work tomorrow so I'd better get some sleep.

Quick Update - One Week Post Laparotomy

2010-07-08T08:20:00.003+10:00

I am one week and a one day post op and am doing quite well. The swelling in my abdomen is coming down (but is quickly being replaced by more permanent changes - too many treats and not enough exercise!). I am moving more freely and have found myself able to sleep on my side and roll over during the night without pain. I was quite tired yesterday but managed to get out for a walk still after an afternoon nap.

All in all, I have been surprised by the mobility that I have had in the first week post op. I have no doubt that this is greatly influenced by the level of all round fitness that is achieved by running, riding and swimming. For those readers that are living with NF or schwannomatosis, when are able to exercise - keep as fit as possible. This may mean starting out with regular walking and then gradually progressing. In my experience, the time you put into improving your fitness will pay dividends when facing the inevitable surgery. And if you are lucky, you may find a sport or lifestyle that you love.

Laparotomy + Tumour Resection

2010-07-05T09:15:00.004+10:00

I am now five days post operation and feeling pretty good. The pain is more of a constant discomfort and my stomach is sorting itself out after 'everything had to be moved around'. The title of the blog is the procedure that I had done five days ago. The surgery that I have done to manage my schwannomatosis is always in two parts. The first part (i.e. laparatomy) is the technique or area of the body on which the surgery is to be undertaken. A laparotomy can be done for a number of reasons, so this in itself does not provide the hospital staff with information other than the approach to the abdomen that is to be taken. They may guess as to the underlying cause, but very few would guess removal of a schwannoma. The second part of the procedure name is what is to be done after the incision is made using that technique or in that area of the body. As you can see from the title, in the case of schwannoma, the aim is resection of a tumour.
I have been to the same hospital and seen the same neurosurgeon for five operations now over the last three years. I have full faith in Mr Davis and the team of staff at Cabrini. This doesn't mean that I am not nervous - far from it - but I know that they are extremely skilled people that work tirelessly. I could not, and would not, ask for anymore.
Heading in to this surgery, the risks were discussed, as always, but this time the surgery was expected to be even more complicated. As it turns out, it was. The length of time in theatre was double what was anticipated as the surgeons adjusted the planned approach. As I came around in the recovery room, the staff kept repeating when discussing my case with other staff, 'he was really stable all the way through - incredibly stable'. This focus on stability through the procedure and discussion about how long things took didn't really make sense until later on Wednesday evening when the surgeon (who I am forever indebted to) explained the operation and the issues that arose.
Luckily, recovery has been going really well so far. I am at home and managed to have lunch out with Jo and my mum yesterday. This might have been a little too much, as I spent yesterday afternoon lying on my bed and am still pretty tired today. I've been out for a couple of walks of up to 20mins and will hopefully get out again today.
The physio has given me some exercises to work on engaging the lower abdominals. The exercises were nothing new as Dani and Lisa (physios that helped me recover while living in Canberra) will attest. I will also start working on my shoulder rotation today. I still seem to be having stability issues with my right shoulder after surgery in October last year. If I stop working it for a few days, it seems to crunch a little - particularly if I try sleeping on my side.
A few pics from the op below:

Pre - Op waiting area Wednesday watching a little morning tv.

Relaxing in bed on Thursday morning (one day after surgery)
Free of catheter, IV Drip and all other connections on Friday morning.

Success

2010-07-03T15:05:00.003+10:00

Just a quick post - my surgery was successful. I am now at home after three nights in hospital and have recovered well to date. The surgeons involved experienced some difficulties accessing the tumour and had to take an alternative approach to resection, but all is good. I'll post some pics later on today or tomorrow. Overall I have more mobility than I expected and I am feeling pretty good. Thanks for your support - I'll get those pics up when I can.

Laparotomy and Tumour Resection Tomorrow

2010-06-29T22:28:00.003+10:00

Thanks to everyone for the well wishes for tomorrow's op. I'll get a post up in the next few days with an update of how things go. I did things a little differently this time around before my operation. I took a couple of days off instead of working up until the day of the op. It has helped me clear the decks before hand. I managed to get in 19km running this morning on a wet and windy day. It was the perfect day for my last run in a little while. All the excuses were available to not go, but I really wanted to get out there.

I know that I have a challenge ahead and that challenge starts in eight hours...I'd better get some rest.

Makin' Tracks in the Mallee

2010-06-21T22:12:00.004+10:00

Two weekends ago, Jo and I headed up to her parents' place in Colignan for the weekend. Colignan is around 45 minutes from Mildura on the border of Victoria and New South Wales. I had been scouting around for a running event to get in before my coming operation when I came across the Mallee 12. The event is a 12km run which is made up of 3*4 km laps beside the Murray River. I really enjoyed competing again - even if I was a little way off the pace. Lisa Weightman (Beijing Olympian and 2:29 marathon runner) was in the field, as was her partner, Lachlan. I went through the first km with the lead group, sitting in 5th position. Shortly around that mark, we slipped into a pace line. It was like the 'proper runners' knew how the race was going to pan out and just slipped into their respective finishing positions. I felt like a bit of an impostor - and running ugly as well. At the half way point of the first lap, I was around 10 seconds off the back of the lead bunch and started to shift my attention towards getting through the first lap and using the second lap as a pace settler so that I didn't blow up on the last. I ended up running a fairly even split for the second and third lap, coming home in 8th place in 44:31. This is getting closer to where I think I was at in 2009 prior to my back surgery. It was a great feeling to know that the hard work had paid off. Jo took some footage on her phone during the third lap. It actually turned out to be pretty good given it is a new phone and she was trying to take stills!

I'm not sure about my form - might be something to work on during my recovery period. Anyway, better get to bed. I have an appointment before work with the urologist that is working with my neurosurgeon for next week's operation.

Finding Meaning

2010-06-08T22:03:00.003+10:00

The picture below is of the sun setting over Port Phillip Bay in Melbourne. I run along the foreshore paths at least twice a week. Not a bad way to start or finish the day!

I've been a little slack on the blogging of late. I am making the adjustment to working within a large organisation again and also adding a 40 min plus trip to work each way. It is taking its toll. Unfortunately, I have let blogging slip a little. But I enjoy writing, so I will try and get back into the weekly routine.

My training has suffered a little the past few weeks and I have only managed around 13 hours per week. If my weekends were back up to full volume, I would only be getting 16 hours. I probably need to get at least another four hours in when Ironman preparation comes around if I am going to have a realistic shot at achieving my goals this summer. But before summer, I have an operation to contend with.

I am booked in for surgery late in June, so I might be quiet for a little longer. In preparation for training I am keeping training rolling and may even through in one or two running races. I am looking for things to provide a distraction from just sitting around and waiting.

Deciding to go ahead with the surgery was initially a hard decision. Eventually, it became clear that the time was right to book it in. Having started a new job just weeks before made the decision task even harder, but there are times when we have to really listen to our body.

This brings me to the title for this blog post, finding meaning. I'm sure that all people struggle with finding meaning from time to time. Lately, I have noticed that the struggle has become more intense. During the day, it is all about crossing the t's and dotting the i's. This has caused me a lot of frustration from time to time. When I know that a reasonable person could get to a reasonable outcome by just doing, it can be challenging to spend so much time focused on the details of the process the outcome is probably going to be reasonable. When I add this heightened challenge to finding meaning with a constant distraction of what lies ahead - not just with this operation, but with life in general with schwannomatosis - I tend to strip things back to basics. Unfortunately, business doesn't often follow my mood cycles. This can make for some very long days.

Luckily, I have some great views on my running routes that help soothe the soul and calm the struggle with finding meaning for another day.

Back To The Grind

2010-05-28T06:45:00.003+10:00

This week has seen my return to a more structured work week as I have taken up a full time role with a utilities company. Given that the renovations being done to the apartment that we rent were not completed by the start of the week as initially scheduled, this week has really been a challenge. No bathroom and new job. So how have I gone with training? I would say I am borderline between a pass and fail. I have managed to average an hour a day so far, but that is far from good. Hopefully next week I will be back into a better grove.

One thing that hasn't helped this week has been late nights. Once you enter the cycle of late nights, it is very hard to break. In fact, the reason that I am typing this blog now is because I slept in and would not have time to get on the indoor trainer before work.

Once I have adjusted to the daily grind again, I will be shifting the focus of my training towards preparation for surgery. I have blogged before about the training process for surgery. In short, be fit but not tired going in for surgery. You need to establish a good all-round fitness. Triathlon training is the perfect preparation. I still have a few things to do before I can go into more detail about the pending surgery, but should be in a better position to do that next week.

Better get ready for work and back to the grind.

New Motivation Tool for Swimming

2010-05-21T07:30:00.004+10:00

I've had a really enjoyable week of training this week. With a week off from work, I have been getting a couple of hours in each day. I am also getting a little bit more swimming done than I normally would at this time of year. While I'd like to be able to claim that this is due to a strong inner motivation, it is more due to the lack of a bathroom. Our landlord is having the bathroom renovated and as a result, we need to go elsewhere for our showers. The local swimming pool changerooms are the cheapest alternative. And while I am at the pool, I may as well cut some laps. Maybe next summer we should close our bathroom for a few weeks to make sure that I get lots of swimming done.

My running is continuing to improve as I seem to be regaining strength (holding 4min 12sec km in 2km+ training runs. Was struggling to get below 4min 30sec in lead up to Ironman). It has left me wondering a little bit about the Ironman. I normally spend quite a bit of time dissecting where I went wrong in the previous year's race, and this year I will have an extra month thanks to the change in date. What I am not sure on is whether my running was lacking a sustained hard effort in preparations (i.e. race conditions) or whether my fitness improved after racing the Ironman and having a little rest post-Ironman. I need to look more into it as I find both to be plausible reasons. Why do I need the answer? Mainly to do whatever I can to ensure that I am able to run to my potential in future races - even those with a broken preparation.

As for race plans over the winter, I think that I will aim for some running races over the winter. Probably distances between 10 - 20km. I'd love to run in the 30km Prom Country Challenge (www.promcountrychallenge.org.au), but as I am involved with the organisation of the event it might be a little difficult.

Decision Time

2010-05-10T21:33:00.003+10:00

Decision time has arrived once again. It may be a little hard to grasp the concept of a patient deciding when to have surgery to remove a tumour, but if my experience is anything to go by, this is a regular occurrence for those that live with Schwannomatosis.

My friends and family often seem a little confused when I respond to their queries about how my appointment went with the neurosurgeon. I mean, surely the surgeon knows what the right thing to do is…sometimes there is no right answer. Below is an extract of one of the two MRI reports that were written up following my annual scanning. As can be seen, there are two tumours that have demonstrated growth in the previous twelve months.

Of main concern is the tumour that is approximately 3cm in size in my pelvic region. This is not a large tumour for the region, but as my surgeon has indicated, it is a relatively small dark hole that he will be working in when operating, and so it is best not to let the tumour get too large. Well, why not take it out now? There are a couple of reasons. Some are from the surgeon’s perspective and some from mine. In short, I have had three surgeries in the last two years and they take a toll. Not just physically, but emotionally and financially.

Schwannomatosis is ongoing and my treatment plan should not place me at unnecessary risk. The treatment for any one tumour needs to be considered in the context of my condition as a whole. So if we have established that there are reasons not to remove the tumour now, then when? This is where it becomes clear that there is no right answer to this question. We don’t know how fast the tumour will grow. We don’t know whether a further centimetre would change the complexity of the surgery. We don’t know whether deferring removal of this tumour will result in a difficult decision down the track when I have tumours in more than one region that require removal (for instance the tumour growing near the Ischial Tuberosity).

It is challenging to say the least. So how does triathlon fit in to all of this? I am an athlete by heart (but maybe not body!). Sport keeps me balanced – somewhere around an hour a day with at least one long session seems to help me keep things together. Luckily, my surgeon understands – he is an open water swimmer (we spend just as long talking swimming in my appointments as we do health issues). Included in our discussion was the timing of Ironman Australia next year, and it was him that brought it up.

I am still yet to make my final decision. I have a tumour that requires removal and once removed, recovery will keep me out of action for up to three months. Either way, it may take a few more years for that year on year training that I am longing for as I work towards realising my athletic potential.

Ironman Entered - Training Begins

2010-05-05T07:41:00.004+10:00

I have entered Ironman Australia and am back in to training. Although by being back into training, I almost missed out on entering the Ironman. WTC (World Triathlon Corporation – owners of the Ironman brand) are no longer licensing out the running of Ironman races across the globe. As such, they are the new event managers for Ironman Australia in Port Macquarie. One of the first changes that they instigated was to drop the field size to 1,000 (from around 1,500) and to remove the requirement for validation of your entry by completing a Half-Ironman. The result, 1,000 entrants registered within the first 10 hours.

There has been a lot of talk on forums here in Australia about the changes that WTC are making to the Australian based races and international races. What are my thoughts? WTC are making moves to have an incredibly strong brand over the next five years. However, I question the ability of the organisation to remain strong in 10 – 15 years if they do not take care of the pro field today. Just as some of the community are inspired by the stories of the ‘average Joe’, others (like me) are inspired by the feats of the people at the front of the race. We need a deep and diverse pro field to inspire people from all walks of life.

Anyway, back to training. Last week was around 15 hours including two 100km rides and a 25km run. The long run was one of the most enjoyable that I have had all year. A friend who is training for Ironman Brazil was looking for some company for his long run. He is a very strong athlete (aiming for a 3:20 marathon split at Brazil), but his strength can vary considerably with emotion and confidence (although he generally performs beyond expectations on race day). Having done a solid block of training, he needed a day where he felt strong. This is where I come in. As a weaker athlete (about the same on the run - he is a long way up the road on the bike), with reasonable mental strength, I am the perfect ‘whipping boy’. I seem to have this uncanny ability to train my friend into form within two weeks. But I am not really training him into form, I am lifting his confidence to a point where his fitness and abilities are free seek and conquer.

My friend completed his best run of his Ironman preparations (35kms averaging around 4min 30sec per km), and after a slow ride on Monday, was not down in the dumps about not being strong enough. Instead, he recognised that he was tired from a huge block of training and was ready to sink his teeth into another solid block in a few days time.

So what does that mean for me? I am heading back to the 5km track for some more whipping this weekend.

Holidays

2010-04-28T08:03:00.003+10:00

It is now a month since the Ironman and I am starting to get back into some more regular training. I am still not following a structured program as yet, but I’ll loosely follow my basic week structure and aim for somewhere around the 12 hours + per week. I am focusing on riding regularly at the moment so that I can try and address my weakness on the bike.

In the last month, I had my annual follow up MRIs which found a couple of tumours not previously reported and showed growth in a couple of tumours that may present a little difficulty in removing. This was a little hard to swallow at the time, but it is all part of life with schwannomatosis.

When I was in the hospital for my scanning, I noticed that I was feeling very relaxed. Just walking around the place seemed to life a little weight off my shoulders – a similar feeling to that which I get when I arrive at Port Macquarie each year for the Ironman. So why would the hospital feel like a holiday house that you return to year after year? It took me until last night to realise why. It is.

People that have stressful jobs are highly encouraged (often forced) to take their annual leave. Yet, when you have a health condition that causes pain, there is no annual leave from that stress. It is always with you (the pain may subside but you are constantly aware that it might return at any time). Almost always.

When is it not with you? When you are in a hospital, having the cause of your most immediate pain removed and having someone care for you. Life can seem full of new found freedom as you face the prospect of having less pain – maybe being pain free. So maybe Cabrini is just as much a holiday house to me as the apartment that Jo and I stay in up at Port Macquarie each year.

I’m glad that I feel relaxed in the hospital, but I think that I am happy to holiday elsewhere for a little while. I am seeing my neurosurgeon next month. Hopefully he will agree that I should look at a different destination for this year’s holiday – maybe even New York for the marathon.

A Little Bit About Me

2010-04-20T17:11:00.004+10:00

With my athletic activity being minimal at the moment, I thought that I would post an article that is going to be published in the NFAA newsletter.

While I’ve only known that I have schwannomatosis since 2007, I have been dealing with the pain for twelve years. I was reminded of this as I sifted through my archive of MRI and CT scans to collect the ones relevant to my annual check up. In those twelve years, I have had four laminectomies to remove over ten schwannomas from my spine, surgery on both my right and left brachial plexuses, and surgery on my right leg to remove three schwannomas from my sciatic nerve. While these surgeries have helped, they don’t free me of all of my schwannomas.

As those with schwannomatosis, NF 1 or NF 2 would know, treatment is all about risk management. For the last two years I have been concerned about a schwannoma in my pelvic region. It’s a constant reminder that my time in hospital beds is not done yet. The tumor has also triggered a sense of urgency; a real purpose for my dedication to training for triathlons; an even stronger desire to follow through on my dream to compete at the Hawaiian Ironman World Championships.

After coping with what was initially diagnosed as severe hamstring tightness during my football playing days (Aussie Rules), I was referred for an MRI. The MRI found several growths in the spinal canal, likely to be schwannomas. This diagnosis was found to be correct after the growths were removed in the months following the scan. I was 21 and at university studying to be a physical education teacher. I discussed study options with my neurosurgeon who indicated that a career relying on physical mobility might not be sensible so I returned to the commerce degree that I had started previously.

I was determined to return to football and set about getting as fit as possible.

I was living in Canberra and decided to sign up for the Canberra Half Ironman (1.9km swim, 90km ride and 21km run). As a student, I was limited on resources and really just went about doing some swimming, riding and running each week. The sport was foreign to me next to footy but I managed to finish the race. I was lucky enough to win a lottery spot to the Australian Ironman in Forster Tuncurry (3.8km swim, 180km ride and 42km run). Again, I didn’t really know what I was doing but after picking up some general training tips off the internet, managed to finish my first Ironman in 12 hours 36 minutes—12 months after my second operation. More importantly, I had found a new sporting love. My dreams of playing AFL on the MCG now moved to swimming, riding and running and maybe one day competing on the lava fields of Kona, Hawaii.

I returned to football on a casual basis, finding that it took me more than a week to get over the post match aches and pains—so luckily the pull towards triathlon was strong.

Since then I have managed to complete the last nine Australian Ironman triathlons with a best time of 10 hours and 11 minutes, finish in the top twenty in the Scottish Middle Distance Triathlon Championships while on a working holiday, race for the Australian Age Group team in Nice, France, and qualify as a Chartered Accountant working my way to Manager level in a mid-tier firm. Annual surgery has made it challenging, but all manageable when I keep things in perspective. I understand that while people will be sympathetic of my condition, the world keeps turning and they move on with their lives—so I may as well too.

I have built up my program and spend most of the summer training 15 to 22 hours per week in preparation for the Ironman. I have found that the constant activity and stretching aides my body to handle the pain and I am able to do without the anti-inflammatory medication that I was living on ten years ago.

Obviously my life has required some adjustments; I recognised early on that alcohol, stress and lack of sleep can aggravate my condition. My days of burning the candle at both ends are over—but I don’t miss them. I am living a healthy, athletic life and pursuing a dream. I am doing exactly what I would be without schwannomatosis.

There are ups and downs. I find that by focusing on the short term on my down days, and thinking longer term on my good days when I am better equipped to handle it, I am able to overcome the lows relatively quickly. And besides, the timing clock doesn’t go slower for me because of my health issue. To the clock, I am another triathlete looking to do the best that they can.

Recovery Tips

2010-04-14T08:40:00.003+10:00

I posted some comments on a triathlon forum in response to a query about recovery from a long term injury and the associated weight gain. My response focused on the recovery side of things. The tips below outline the approach that I take to recovery.

1: Read and study - You need to be informed and play a proactive part in your recovery. Unless you have the resources to have full supervision, you need to develop a sound understanding of your body and your specific injury.

2: Discuss structural issues with surgeon/physio - You need to understand what is weakened by the injury/operation before discussing which exercises will be appropriate.

3: Recovery is hard work - I have trained for and completed nine Australian Ironmans in a row (five surgeries for non exercise related issues along the way). The hardest part of the journey is walking up and down a soccer pitch, occasionally jogging the length of the goal keeper's box, night after night during the winter. But, it is this hard work that makes the difference when you are back out there fully recovered. The thought of that will hopefully help.

4: Push the limits, in a conservative way - That may sound funny, but knowing when feeling not right means back-off or stop is the key. This goes back to #1 and #2.

5: Be honest with your medical advisors - Even if you have done something that they may not approve of – which is bound to happen if you follow #4 above. They won't be able to help if they are not aware of what you have done.

6: Long Term Adjustments may be essential - Since my first back operation (12mths prior to my first Ironman), I generally keep my running to no more than two days in a row. I have started to do some three in a row periods, but will not do many. It may not be the advisable if you are aiming to get super fast, but I have run just under 3:30 at Port Mac on this and managed to keep my body's issues in check.

7: Recovery is hard work - I've repeated number 3 because recovery really does test you out. You will know whether you are someone who is after some social participation or to be the best you can be by the end of the process.

8: Don't stop the little things when you get back to doing the big things - If you stop the exercises that you are given during the recovery once you are back out running, riding and swimming, you may end up with some niggling injuries. This goes back to number 6.

9: If you can, work on your core - A strong core will help make up for some of the other deficiencies that may have developed in your form due to your injury. If you are anything like me, it might help you carry an extra weight that you put on. As for weight, I tend to cap out at an extra 6kgs during time off. This comes off pretty quickly when I get back in to the long days on the bike and regular training.

10: Embrace Walking – walking is a great way to keep active, fit and healthy and get outside. When legendary Australian triathlete Brad Beven was injured in the lead up to the Sydney Olympics, it was reported that he was walking up to three hours a day. While this may not be true, it is not out of the question for someone as dedicated as Beven. An hour a day of walking is a great addition to your recovery schedule.

Good luck.

Annual MRI Scan

2010-04-08T15:20:00.004+10:00

Earlier this week I spent a couple of hours in the MRI machine. I was supposed to have my appointment spread across two days, but the person doing the scans mis-read the booking and kept on going – which was great. But, the error did not end there. Unfortunately, after lying awake during the night last night in anticipation of picking up my results today, the ‘danger one’ that I was most eager to find out about was not reported. Not only was in not reported, they seemed to miss that scan altogether. Needless to say, I am a little disappointed. It is bound to happen from time to time though. When you have a referral that basically says start at the head and finish at the knees – that is a lot of time in the machine. The waiting time for a booking is around three weeks long. However, my sleepless night was not wasted. I have a clean brain scan and stable schwannomas in my spinal canal. There is some growth in one of the sciatic nerve tumours that will require a little bit of discussion – it might also describe the occasional discomfort when driving.

So now that I have got that out of my system, time to move on to a little bit about my Ironman recovery. Right now I am exercising about every second day. It is exercise rather than training. I just head out and do what I feel like. I have done one swim, one jog and several rides. I will have to pick it up a little though as my diet has been out of control for the last week. I have certainly not held back on chocolate this Easter!

I believe that the constant exercise and stretching really helps my pain and so I try to keep some activity up after the Ironman, even if it is just walking and stretching. While at the Ironman I picked up some of the Trigger Point Therapy (http://www.tptherapy.com.au/) tools to give them a go and see whether they help with surgery rehab and in day to day management of pain. I’m just starting to use the equipment so I’ll report back to let you know whether I find that they are a useful tool for managing schwannoma related pain.

If anyone would like to recommend an Ironman distance race (probably non WTC as the WTC races sell out too fast) or a great marathon in August/September that does not require qualification, please leave a comment. If I manage to have a year without surgery I would love to do another event.

Ironman Port Macquarie 2010

2010-04-01T10:34:00.005+11:00

The race that I was hoping for did not eventuate on the weekend. To cut to the chase, I ended up with 10hr 40min after blowing-up on the run. It wasn't a surprise that I blew up. On the bike, I was watching my heart rate and trying to get it down. But I didn't do what was necessary and back right off. I was probably holding a heart rate above 150bpm rather than around 140bpm. So, when I got off the bike, I felt a little average. Given that my run is my strength, when I don't get my pacing right in a race, I walk away quite disappointed - maybe because I didn't give myself the chance to really cash in on that strength. So after eight previous Ironmans of improving (except for a 20 odd seconds in one year), I managed to take a step back in number nine.

My family and friends have been very supportive and are really impressed that I managed to get through given the timing of the operations. As someone with an ongoing health condition, it is a constant battle to challenge yourself to not let it be the judge of your capabilities and what you can achieve. Schwannomatosis and the associated surgical treatment provides a socially acceptable reason for never challenging yourself and striving to be the absolute best you can be. For those with NF related conditions, work hard to know yourself and know your body. It will be you that is best able to decide the limits and you that knows how to 'factor in' your condition when assessing your performance, or reflecting on life in general. To do this, the approach may be similar to that of appointments with specialists. Remove all the emotion, take in the information, make the assessment and then if you want, write down your thoughts to revisit later.

To my family and friends, thanks for the support during the build up to Port Macquarie. For those that I have spoken to in the last few days, I am still assessing how my race went and may sound a little hard on myself at this stage - but the assessment is required before I consider the impact of the surgery so that I am able to only factor it in as I feel is appropriate.

Overall, I really enjoyed being out there again. I think the picture above was taken lap three of the bike (about 155kms in to the ride). That smile on my face was there for most of the day. Although it was replaced by more of a cold stare towards the latter stages of the run as I had to concentrate on just keeping going.

Ironman Race Week - Two Days out from Port Macquarie

2010-03-26T08:32:00.004+11:00

I’m up in Port Macquarie in the final days of my Ironman preparation for 2010 (although it would be nice to get another IM in this year – but I say that every year and have still managed just one for the last eight). I am feeling my usual intimidation from the extremely fit and strong looking people around town that seem to all be riding blinged up bikes. Hopefully my fitness is there to be riding in amongst some of those blinged up bikes on the weekend. I am feeling OK, but there are some little niggles that seem to be present during race week most years. I think that those reading that have NF related tumour issues will understand the difficulties that a 1,300km car trip can present in the week leading up to trying to hit peak athletic performance. I am not sure whether it is the scar tissue and results of several laminectomies that cause some tightness and a little pain my lower back or whether it is tumours in the spinal canal. The feeling is similar to when I have had some tumours in the lumbar region of my spine. I find the best cause of action is probably the recommended approach to all athletes during race week. Small doses of exercise, stretching and resting. I try to spend a little time just lying down. So if I am watching TV, I might through some pillows on the ground and just lay down.
It is funny, I find myself having this reassuring conversation with myself this year (now that doesn’t sound to reassuring – having a conversation with myself :>). The conversation goes a little like this:
‘I don’t think that I am as strong as last year. The two operations have changed my preparations too much. I needed to focus on recovery for quite a while rather than race build up.’

‘But how do you know that you aren’t as strong as last year?’

‘I just don’t feel it. Training feels a little different. And my swim times are slower.’

‘Well, you did have surgery on your shoulder in October. So maybe your swim time is a little off. Last year you had to stop on the bike course to sort out a bike issue. The time that you lose in the swim will be made up by not stopping on the bike. And you are training in Melbourne again. Training feels different because you are training in a different city. Your markers and training courses have all changed.’

‘Maybe - but what about my running? I was running faster this time last year.’

‘Maybe you were. Maybe you weren’t. Why don’t we wait until six and a half to seven hours into the Ironman on Sunday to find that out.’

‘You are right. Just go in with what you have. Spend the next few days getting everything set for a good day – a great day. Remember your mantra from the run last year (I love running) and say it to yourself as you leave transition with a smile on your face. Enjoy being in amongst your people, doing the thing you love, living the athletic lifestyle that is your dream. The energy you can draw from living your dream will provide you more than what two operations can take (well, so long as that is emotionally, and not actually putting back in the tumours that were removed :>)’

When that conversation has been played out I calm down. At least until another bunch of people go riding or running past looking incredibly fit. Then another conversation starts – generally doubting my ability to get to Kona one day and be a well and truly sub 10hr Ironman athlete…but that is for another blog.

If I can, I’ll write something down after the race to let you know how the conversation played out on Sunday.

Finally, I wouldn't have been sitting in Port Macquarie without the support of Mr Davis (neurosurgeon and open water swimming demon) and his team. Thankyou to the crew from Cabrini Hospital in Malvern as well!

Three Weeks to Go

2010-03-10T06:42:00.002+11:00

I have officially entered the last three weeks of training before the Port Macquarie Ironman. This year, I was (am) planning on keeping a fairly solid work load going for another week or so and run a shorter taper. Given that I do not have the depth in my fitness base and a long training phase to this point, I have less to taper from. The reason that I have written was, is that after claiming to have learned from my previous years, something has come out of the blue and really knocked me around yesterday. It may be a spider bite as I woke during the night on Tuesday with an itchy foot and thought, ‘that is strange’, but went back to sleep. I was working away yesterday and feeling fine all morning. I went for a swim, had a few stomach issues straight after my swim. Decided to try running still anyway as some times these things sort themselves out. That is when things turned south. During the run, I had real stomach issues and then when I finished the run, within minutes, I had a strong head ache and was very tired. I took on quite a bit of fluid on the drive on the way back. This morning the head ache is still quite strong, so I might have to just go with the flow for a day or two to get what ever I have out of my system. The itchy foot might be a coincidence.

During the last week my schwannomas have been fairly ‘angry’. I have been getting shots of pain in my legs while sitting down. It may be hard to explain what this feels like to someone without schwannomatosis or NF. The pain is one thing, but for me, it leads quickly to a little frustration about the fact that if there is pain now, eventually there will be another operation. After two operations in twelve months, I was hoping for a couple of years without – but we will see what the scanning has to say after the Ironman.

On a more positive note, my training has been going well and I think that I might be back to a point of fitness where I can really enjoy the race. My bike will still be frustratingly slow (5hr35min for more years than I care to remember) but hopefully I can run somewhere around last years time. To facilitate a good run, I might have to let my bike time slip a little as I do not have as much strength through my core this year.

So, less than three weeks to go. A little time relaxing to let what ever bug/nastiness is in my system to pass through and then one final week of solid training. A friend told me he had a dream that I did a 10:05…that would be very nice!

Learning

2010-02-24T09:02:00.004+11:00

Last week, I pulled out my training diaries from the last two years and read through my Ironman preparation. As you can probably imagine, there were no surprises in the training – there shouldn’t be, I was there! What surprised me though was that I had been sick for two years in a row at a very similar stage of my Ironman preparation. In both years I have had a race around this time, but in one year the sickness was prior to the race and another year after the race. While I didn’t race this year, I know that I have certainly loaded the physical training stress on my body for the last two months. So, how did I react? I focused on being smart with my training and being prepared to just do nothing if I felt that it was necessary. Luckily it hasn’t been to date, but I am certainly still applying the same rule. It was a little funny to have a dinner with some friends of Jo’s several days after my revelation only for one of them to confess to having a cold at the end of the dinner – you can learn from the past, but can’t predict the future.

Just as I keep a diary for training (although I can go through stages of the year with pretty sketchy details), keeping notes about dealing with schwannomatosis has allowed me to learn from the recovery process and apply those lessons in future ops. I am learning a lot from my shoulder recovery. I am back to a pretty standard swimming stoke (standard in my own awkward way) but my shoulder does not feel quite right. I think that post-Ironman I will spend a lot of time strengthening the shoulder.

Jo and I have been discussing success a little bit lately and how we both define success in our lives. Our definitions are changing as time goes by (great scene related to success in life in Up In The Air). Last night as I was running along the Port Phillip foreshore and holding a good pace, I realised that I had achieved a goal. It was not a goal of achieving lofty new heights or anything amazing. My success was realised through regaining lost fitness and form. I don’t know whether I am as strong as I was last year for the Ironman – I certainly don’t feel as strong, but I am fit enough to be enjoying some long training. I am fit enough to tackle the Ironman and I am strong enough to push myself. It is very easy to get caught up in the definitions of success that we feel are generic and apply to all. They don’t. Success is an individual thing that evolves as our life changes. Chasing success provides for some incredible self-discovery along the way. Don’t forget to write some of these lessons down for the future…they may just help refine your definition of success some way down the track.

IM Training - Grand Prix Style

2010-02-05T07:27:00.004+11:00

I’ve had a pretty big week this week. With some more work coming in and an issue hitting the national press for one of my clients, it has certainly shifted some of my focus from training. In addition to this, my younger brother is getting married this Saturday. So after several weeks of rolling my ‘basic week’ formula that I find enables me to get around 20hrs of training in for the week during the peak Ironman preparation phase, I have had a disrupted week this week. I have adopted a more fitting mantra for the week of ‘doing what I can, when I can’. I won’t have a long day this week, but rather two mid size days.

On Wednesday morning, I rolled out on the bike at around 8am. My current flexibility enables me to modify my work hours a little, so I planned to get a three and a half hour ride in before work. Given the traffic in Melbourne at that time of the morning, I decided to head to the Formula One track at Albert Park (see pic below). The track is mostly open to the public and operating as streets when not set up as a race track. The traffic is only moving at 40-50km/hr around the track and there is a bike lane for the busiest section. I think I ended up doing around 18-19 laps of the track. It turned out to be a really good spot to get some riding done during a heavy traffic period. I have to say, I really would have struggled to get another 80km done. A 5km circuit is not the place to do an Ironman ride!

I have had a relatively pain free week this week (apart from quite fatigued legs :>). My shoulder is under control for now with a modified swim stroke and some rotator cuff exercises. Yesterday was the first day this week that I have thought about the schwannoma that is in my pelvic region. I was asking myself while I was swimming last night, ‘if the next round of scanning shows that the tumor has grown, and it needs to come out, what event would I like to do before the op’. There are some obvious answers in Ironman races, like Hawaii, Canada, New Zealand and the Challenge Roth race. But I think that I wouldn’t have the time or resources prior to the op to gain entry into those races and prepare. So I thought about marathons – New York or Boston, or maybe running the marathon that follows the original route. So, if the scanning that I will have done later in the year finds that another operation is to be undertaken sooner rather than later, I’ll be looking out for an iconic marathon race. But hopefully the scan will show little growth and I can let it go for another year. For readers that aren’t aware, schwannomas, as they present in Schwannomatosis, are generally quite slow growing. Occasionally they increase in growth rate, but mostly, they develop quite slowly compared to many other tumors.

We’ve got wet weather in Melbourne today so I’ll be jumping on my indoor trainer for a two hour ride. My totals for last week were 2.5 km swimming (shoulder kept volume low), 355km cycling and 86km running. This week will be a little lighter – so hopefully the fatigue will clear a little from my legs over the weekend…assuming that I don’t party too hard at the wedding!

My monthly totals for January were 21km swimming, 1,649km cycling and 327km running. So, apart from the low swimming which I expected this year, a really good month at this point in my Ironman preparations.

Finally, good luck to Brooke in the Geelong 70.3 race this weekend. After two years of false starts - 2010 will be the year.

Shoulder Pain and Open for Business

2010-01-27T07:43:00.002+11:00

Well - still haven't set up my desktop computer which means I haven't been able to get in photos from the camera. Training has been going well with another good week on the bike and running. My swimming was getting into a groove as well until I came down with a cold. Then, as I was coming out of the cold, without having done any heavy lifting or swimming for a few days, I woke up on Monday morning with a sore shoulder. By Monday night I was hardly able to take my arm away from my body. So swimming has been a 'no go' this week. I am going to call the physio this morning to see if I can get an appointment. I was hoping that I would have woken up this morning with far less pain. But I got up, tried to imitate a freestyle swimming action to see if I could head to the pool, and instantly felt intense pain. Not sure what could have caused it. Jo and I thought that maybe after several years of not sleeping with my arm in certain positions because of the schwannomas that maybe I had just aggravated the shoulder by spending a few hours in a position it was not used to. Anyway, hopefully the physio will be able to help me out.
As I mentioned above, I had a cold over the weekend. When my body is feeling run down with a cold or flu, I often am more aware of pain from the schwannomas. It is interesting how that works, but the same thing seems to occur after alcohol. So, while I avoid alcohol most of the time, it can be hard to avoid getting a cold at times. The pain that I noticed this time was likely to be stemming from the schwannoma that is in my pelvic region on the left side. The pain I was experiencing was a throb down through my left inner thigh. I didn't find it to be as intense or restrictive as the pains that I have had in other places, so hopefully that means that I will be safe from further surgery for a little while yet.
On the work front, I am currently working for myself. So if you are after a business consultant that specialises in financial management frameworks and compliance requirements throughout Victoria, let me know.
Steve

All Entered

2010-01-17T21:07:00.002+11:00

It's official, I've entered Ironman Australia. My training has been going well with another two good weeks under my belt. I now have three weeks of 340km+ on the bike and over 65km a week running. I've been looking through last years training diary and I am feeling much better about where I am at in the preparation phase than I was a week ago. It is amazing what a good weekend of training can do!

Things are going well in Melbourne after the move. I may have been able to set things up so that I am working from home for most of the week which will enable a great deal of flexibility in my training. This flexibility has lead me to a whole new appreciation for the pro athletes and semi pro athletes that are putting in north of 30hrs per week of training. It really is awesome.

My shoulder is responding well to the increased swimming volume - it is still pretty low at 6.5kms this week - and I am even starting to hold out a little more hope for my swim come race day. I am a little anxious that I will not get a race in before the big day, so I might try and do my own race simulation - maybe down in Gippsland so that I can remove the traffic lights (and traffic).

Hopefully I'll have my desktop unpacked next week so that I am able to put some pics up with the blog.

December Changes

2010-01-04T10:10:00.002+11:00

It has been just over a month since I last posted...and it was a big month. Jo and I returned to Melbourne after two years in Canberra. The move went much better than expected. I let my training slide a little over the last couple of weeks in Canberra as I was packing and finishing things up at work. I didn't realise how much I had let it slide until I started training again in Melbourne with a mate that is gearing up for Ironman Brazil. He has successfully shown me exactly where I am at on the bike and the run at the moment. I have a lot of work to do, but am not letting that get me down at the moment. As I am currently without a job, I am getting a reasonable volume of training done and being able to rest enough so as to not get injured by adding an extra five hours a week. Last weeks totals were 4.2km in the pool, 350km cycling and 63km running. My swimming is coming back and I am confident that I will be able to get around the Port Mac swim in around 1:05 by the end of March. Given that this is 5mins slower than last year, I will have to make up that time somewhere else if I am going to continue to improve my overall race time. This improvement may be a challenge as I am not running well at the moment. I seemed to get back into the groove of things post op to a certain level, but now that I am reaching for a little more - trying to go a little faster on those long runs, it is just not there. So I will work hard towards building a base of fitness in January and see if I am able to take things up a notch in February.
Being back in Melbourne is presenting a few challenges with traffic. I think it is more about getting my confidence back again to be dealing with all of the cars. I held off riding this morning as I slept in a little so decided to wait until later in the day to let the peak hour (two hour)traffic ease.
All in all, it feels good to be back in training and I am looking forward to putting in a few solid weeks.

First Swim

2009-11-25T07:32:00.002+11:00

It has been four weeks since my op so I decided to celebrate with my first swim. As I sat on the pool's edge, I realised that there was no easy way to lower myself in. Luckily the water wasn't too cold. My swim was made up of some breast stroke / dog paddle and some one arm freestyle (I kept my right arm by my side). It took one attempt at a normal breast stroke movement to realise just how limited my arm movement is at the moment. I have some nerve tightness that is preventing me from straightening my arm. I am able to get it pretty close to straight, but I have to make all of the movements slowly and keep everything controlled.

I am spending more time on my bike, mostly on the trainer at this stage. As I noticed after my last surgery, my heart rate seems to be elevated from what I would normally expect and I don't think that this is all related to a loss in fitness. My running is back down to around 50 - 52mins for 10kms - but I would struggle to do much more than 12km without getting sore in my shoulder.

I still haven't got a race schedule for this summer. I am working towards the Ironman at Port Macquarie in late March, but would like to be able to get some racing done before then. As there are only a few half ironman races between now and the Ironman, I may end up with mostly sprint distance races with one or two olympic distance races as well. I will spend the next two weeks focused on trying to get movement back in my shoulder.

For those interested, my left arm only freestyle laps were averaging between 2:10 and 2:15/100m.

From Rest to Rehab

2009-11-16T06:31:00.003+11:00

It has been a little over two and a half weeks since I had two schwannomas resected from my right brachial plexus. I've still got quite a bit of pain through my arm, mainly in the shoulder and tricep area, but that seems to relax a little during the day. I haven't been out of bed long, so I am pretty sore at the moment. My wound from the incision healed really well - a big thankyou to Mr Davis and his team!!

Things are going really on the training front. Last week I managed four indoor trainer sessions (total time of 3hrs 10min), six walks between 50 mins and one hour, and a little bit of core work. So I think I would have got 10+ hours done for the week which I am really happy with. I have started to do some shuffling/running in my walks which will hopefully turn to more running and less shuffling by this weekend. I am really interested to see how much fitness I have lost over the last couple of weeks. I know that I will have lost quite a bit of power on the bike again, which isn't a good thing as I am starting from such a low base.

At some stage this week I am going to map out my season. I am feeling confident in being able to resume full training in another three to four weeks, so working off that basis, should be OK to prepare for Ironman Australia.

I am still feeling a little drained mentally. I realised a few days ago that I have had five operations since finishing university (seven in total). In that time, I have not gone in to negative sick leave or annual leave. In fact, when changing employers, I have had leave paid out. I am aiming to take a break soon as this has all taken its toll. When I am have had operations, I haven't cleared enough space in my workload to allow for a break. This is something that I will definitely improve on in the future - the distant future I hope!

Post Op Pic

2009-11-01T10:14:00.002+11:00

Four days post op - pain is pretty intense at times but resides with ibuprofen.

Op Successful

2009-10-31T07:52:00.002+11:00

This will be a short blog as I am typing one handed. The operation went well and I am back at home after a short stay in Melbourne. Two schwannomas were removed via an incision that was from about 2cm above the right clavicle to the edge of my right armpit. I am sore - but recovering well. The surgeon's initial guidance was to keep movement to small movements for the first 4-5 weeks. So at this stage, the Canberra Half is probably not too likely as I would be racing on a couple of weeks of resumed training. Once again, the staff at the Cabrini in Malvern were fantastic. I can't thank them enough.

Brachial Plexus O Day

2009-10-28T05:39:00.002+11:00

Just a quick post before heading in to the hospital for an operation to remove a few schwannomas from my right brachial plexus. I had an appointment with the surgeon yesterday to discuss the op and he has decided that the incision required to get the two tumours that we were going to initially target might be a little long (length of neck down to my armpit) so he would prefer to do in two stages. I'll try and post some pics shortly after the op. This is my seventh operation since 2001. I have completely lost count of the number of MRI's and CT scans that I have had (+1 from yesterday). I'm feeling pretty good about today.
I'll post again in a couple of days.

Steve

Basic Week

2009-10-20T07:28:00.004+11:00

Following a big month outside of training, I managed to return to my 'basic week' to get back into the groove last week. The concept of the basic week is something that the Endurance Corner guys incorporate into their training. Having a training plan that you can roll out week after week as your foundation, gives you an excellent platform for stabilising your training when life has got away from you a little - well that is what I find anyway. It helps prevents days of nothing. My basic week follows the following pattern:

Monday - Cycle

Tuesday - Running + Swimming

Wednesday - Cycling + Swimming or Running

Thursday - Running

Friday - Cycling + Swimming

Saturday - Cycling (Long) + Running (short and off the bike)

Sunday - Running (Long) + Swimming

My volume has been up around 15 hours with very little swimming (so once a day sessions). Overall, my running is moving along nicely and at times, my cycling is feeling stronger. It is good to be feeling positive about my training before the enforced lay-off that comes with surgery.

I am booked for surgery to remove at least two tumours from my right brachial plexus next Wednesday. I had a similar operation on my left shoulder in 2007. I will be prepped for a nerve graft from my lower leg just in case they are not able to remove the tumour without doing a graft. If a graft is completed, I will have a significantly longer recovery time than I will without the graft. If no graft is required, I may be looking at being back racing in late December early January. This would give me plenty of time to prepare for the Port Macquarie Ironman.

Assuming that a graft is not required, I have mapped out a training plan that will see me spending a little bit of time focusing on my core strength. I think that I can probably get away with stressing my body through my core if I am keeping pressure off my shoulders. I have noticed a lot of tightness forming in my hip flexers and feel like I am not quite able to hold form on my bike and on the run as I fatigue.

Moving away from training, Jo and I drove up to the mountains a few weeks ago so that Jo could see some snow. We waited until late in the season hoping that there would some snow - but not enough to cover all the walking trails and have large crowds up there...

As you can see, we managed to avoid the crowds! The picture above is of the car park at Mt Selwyn...and there is very little snow in the background. We did manage to find one small patch of snow at the bottom of one of the runs. As Jo ran down a grassy ski run to get her first look at snow in her life, I was chasing her down the hill calling out 'Don't eat it!' We were both very grateful for the small patch that remained. The weekend after our trip, the mountains received a massive dump. We both love it up there, so we might head up for a walk while I am not able to run and ride.

Cracks Showing

2009-09-24T22:17:00.002+10:00

I've been pretty busy with work since my last post, as I try to clear the decks before my next operation at the end of October. Over the last two weeks I have had some ups and downs with achieving my training benchmarks, achieving some long awaited returns to strength on the bike (still a long way to go!!) but at the same time, feeling tired and experiencing some soreness through my back. I wound back some of my training and am still waiting for the soreness to clear. There are times when I probably need to consider the signs without as much regard to trying to time the lighter week perfectly with the busier non training week. And I am trying to do this on a 15-20hr training load. Those that regularly hit 20-25hrs would have incredible challenges in trying to synchronise the bodies cycles with work and outside stress cycles.
I think the emotional stress of another operation and the pain that has prompted the operation has increased the level of residual frustration. So I have a slightly shorter fuse at the moment...I am still trying to lengthen that fuse so that the next month is not too painful for those around me.
I was discussing my triathlon plans with a friend a couple of days ago and mentioned that maybe it was time for to take a break for 12 months to see if I can freshen up to really go for that elusive 10hr mark. Another couple of days of thinking about it and I think that I am just tired in general. The constant pressure of disrupted sleep and living with pain coupled with a number of work deadlines has left me tired and lacking in motivation. At the moment, I am on auto-pilot in training. My (wound down)basic week is getting me through for now. At some stage in the next month, I hope to recharge and get the energy reserves up to get through the operation and rehab as well as I have in the past.
This weekend is my annual meat pie day - AFL Grand Final day. Maybe a day of meat pies and good football will provide the crack filler that I need.

First Contact

2009-09-14T07:09:00.001+10:00

Another solid week of training with somewhere between 15 and 16 hours. Again, my swimming was down on what it should be. I find that if I don’t hit the water in the first couple of days of the week, then it is really hard to keep the volume up to the target. Earlier in the week I was booked in for surgery in late October. The surgery will remove a schwannoma (or several) from my right brachial plexus. Given that I will be out of the water for several weeks and really won’t be swimming properly for over a month, I should have no issue with motivation get some solid time in the water now. I have to admit, facing another surgery in six weeks time impacted on my motivation to keep a focus on improvement and training for the Ironman this summer. But, I will do what I can before the operation and see where things are at after the operation. All I have to do is remind myself that I called the surgeon because of the pain and the impact that it was having on my life. And with any luck, that pain will be gone in two months time (it sometimes takes a couple of weeks post op for things to settle down).
As for training, I will probably stick to around 16hrs before the operation. There is a race on in Canberra on October 17 that is around a half ironman distance. My plan had been to race this race and take stock on where my base was at before ramping up the volume and throwing in some more race efforts in the longer training sessions. I still might do the race, but the focus might be on getting in a race before a little bit of time off. In the weeks leading up to the race I have a bucks day and a wedding so it will be an interrupted build up, but I’m sure that if I am unable to race for the remainder of the summer the fact that my preparation wasn’t perfect for one race will not be a major concern.
I’ve said it before, but I am going to try and post more frequently. I think that the warmer weather has got me a little excited and after a fine weekend with temperatures in the low – mid 20s, I am focused on the positives and hoping that I recover from this op as well as I did my last brachial plexus op. The warmer weather did wonders for the dip in motivation during the week.
As for the title of the blog, after several weeks of magpies conducting trial swooping sessions, out on my ride on Saturday, first contact was made. Of course, I was swooped going uphill towards the end of my ride. I think that the warmer weather go the magpies a little more excited as well.

Training Progress

2009-09-07T07:29:00.002+10:00

While I haven't blogged for the last month, I have been training. My training volume has been steadily increasing up to 15 hrs for the last two weeks in a row. I will try and maintain this level for the next week (and maybe one more) before adding any more volume. My swimming is still down so I could probably put another hour in without adding too much stress to the program. Last weeks totals were 3.5km swimming, 270km cycling and 60km running.
Since my operation, I have lost a lot of top end speed and strength. I am still not able to average 30km/hr for my long rides (currently 140km). My running is going well, but I have noticed that I fatigue at around 1hr20mins and I think that the cause of the fatigue may be lack of core strength which is impacting my ability to hold form. So separate to the increase in swimming, riding and running in the next month, I am going to put more time into some core exercises.
My race schedule for the summer is not yet mapped out, but a friend of mine is racing the Shepparton Half Ironman. We spent quite a lot of time training together in Melbourne so it would be nice to be racing on the same day that he makes his return to racing after a two year break. I think that my hesitancy to commit to races is due to the lack of speed and strength. So it might not be for another month that I feel confident enough to enter a race.

Back on the Road with the Crew and the New Normal

2009-08-02T22:17:00.005+10:00

Training is getting a little closer to normal with some time spent this weekend on the bike with Sammy and Keg. The boys left me for dead in a sprint, but only after Sammy flicked up a piece of metal at me that made a lot of noise. Our eyes all met looking to see who's bike had just collapsed.

My swimming is still a little off and I have found that I am still having issues with my right shoulder. I can make a slight movement of my shoulder blade and feel it in my thumb. But the real reason behind my swimming being off comes down to laziness. So I will make a real effort to spend a little more time in the pool over the coming weeks. Only after I have done some testing of the effect of more k's in the water will I be able to make an informed decision about setting a threshold on my swimming. I have a feeling that there will be very little difference between what I am currently swimming and what I need to be swimming to reach my goals.

For anyone reading about the changes in the economy over the last two years, they will be familiar with the term 'new normal'. I had my new normal moment several years ago during a work trip to Perth. I had recently been diagnosed with my first tumours outside of my spinal canal. This meant that I could grow schwannomas on any peripheral nerve in my body. One strain of schwannomatosis is segmental. While I was growing tumours in my spine, it wasn't great, but we knew where they were. Upon being diagnosed with at least one brachial plexus tumour, things changed. My life would never really be the same. I realised on my trip to Perth that operations where going to be part of everyday life. Time off work was going to come with the operations. Keeping stress in check and making sure sleep was rarely sacrificed essential. There was going to be an impact on my income earning potential and some of our standard goals, such as buying a house, may not be a wise risk when faced with a decreased earning capacity and trying to minimise stress. Without resetting and re-aligning the goals, the old normal remains and stress, pain and frustration may unnecessarily take over. By adjusting to the 'new normal' that presents itself with a health condition, it is possible be very happy and healthy and live with a sense of achievement. Not everyone shares my new normal, so the adjustment in thinking is challenged from time to time - even internally.

One more note, Sammy missed at least two public mentions of the work that he is doing at the ANU related to the navigation techniques of a strain of ant that is found in Canberra. Several members of the team were mentioned on the ANU website and got some airtime on one of the local news segments on TV. While it is not the same as being broadcast to millions, maybe a mention here will help ease your pain...and make sure that you don't stoop to dirty tactics again in the next sprint.

SG

The Build

2009-06-30T07:53:00.000+10:00

Over the last three weeks I have made some great progress and feel confident that I will be back out competing in triathlons again this summer. So now the focus changes. So far, I have been working towards getting to this point. On Sunday, I ran/walked 10km in around 1hr 07min. My legs felt a little like I had run 30km on Monday morning! Apart from the fatigue feeling in my legs, my body responded really well. Actually, it was probably the fatigue that got me to the point of feeling ready to change focus and move into the next stage – The Build.

Training will now move towards getting ready to start really training. That may sound a little strange, but I am not anywhere near fit enough (or strong enough) yet to through miles at my body. The Build phase will be about getting my run/walks to runs and slowly picking up the distance. The riding will pick up in intensity and in distance, with the swimming doing the same. I have had a few issues with my shoulder and swimming. The schwannomas that I have in my right Brachial Plexus are causing a bit of pain down my right arm. I will have to be a little more conservative about getting the balance back – finding the right point between building strength and form in the water and causing pain which will result in a loss of strength and form.

I am feeling pretty motivated at the moment and hope that I can ride this wave for a couple of weeks before any setbacks. I still wonder whether I have much more time in my and whether I will be able to one day make it to Kona. I do believe that I have the capacity to finally break 10hrs, but beyond that only a lot of hard work will tell.

Post Op Review and Other Thoughts

2009-06-04T08:00:00.003+10:00

The picture above is taken near my home town, Toora. A very scenic part of the world.
I held off with this week's blog until after my six week review with my neurosurgeon. It always takes me a day or two to think about what was said in that 15 - 30min appointment. For anyone that is seeing a specialist for any medical condition, I highly recommend writing down the questions that you have before going in to their consulting suite, reading them while you are in the waiting room, and then writing out the answers almost straight after leaving the rooms. Medical specialists would be one of the true 'time poor'. Being prepared can make sure that you don't miss out on getting a piece of information that you really wanted and may have to wait a long time before having the opportunity to speak with the specialist again. The reflection time is required so that you don't lose some of the details of the conversation to the emotional attachment that is connected to certain words. If you are able, removing the emotional response until after you have left the meeting can help with retaining the information. This is how I go about my appointments with specialists. The approach may not work with everyone, but I have found that it helps me.

Overall, the review went well. The surgeon his pleased with my healing to date and is happy for me to continue with the physical therapy that I have been doing. I have also been given some great advice via email from Dr V and Bob Crane who are based in Boulder, Colorado. I am very grateful for their willingness to write back to an email that I sent after reading about their involvement with Simon Lessing's recovery from back surgery.

As far as training goes at the moment, I am picking up the pace in the pool and will aim for three swims a week for the next few weeks (possibly four after next week) and have started throwing in one outdoor ride around the bike paths in Canberra. I had started doing some light jogging for up to 10m at a time during some of my walks. I will hold back on this now after receiving some more advice from Bob, and keep to walking for a little longer. I have put on a little weight, so I am going to see how I go trying to lose the weight over the next month without running being in my program and being limited to a little over 1 hr on the bike at a time.

Work is busy at the moment as we start to work through some staffing changes. We have had our first redundancies due to the economic downturn. I think there are some big changes to come and some hard times ahead. Unfortunately, I am really starting to sense that society is viewing recovery from the downturn like a weight loss program - looking for the easiest way to quickly fix the situation with minimal impact on the habits that caused the situation. As with weight loss, I don't think that this approach is a sustainable one.

Four Weeks Down

2009-05-24T16:50:00.000+10:00

It has now been just over four weeks since my surgery and I am feeling more mobile and eager to get training under way. I have a chronic dull ache that has emerged over the last two weeks in my lower back. It feels like the sort of pain that some exercise and stretching over several weeks might do wonders for. However, I have decided to keep my exercise limited to walking, indoor cycling with limited resistance and easy swimming for the next week and a half until I have had my review with the neurosurgeon. I have always pushed the limits a little in rehab and am finding myself a little more conservative this time around.

My workload has increased quite a bit over the past week and that may have contributed to the soreness that I am experiencing. It has definitely cultivated some thinking about whether there would be any other vocations that would better suit my circumstances. In the end, I think that there are very few ‘perfect’ jobs for those that are dealing with an ongoing medical condition that requires time-out at different points in time. So, like everyone else, it comes down to trying to match interests, motivations and abilities with the opportunities that are out there. Staying open to these opportunities is a challenge faced by everyone.

Last Sunday I watched some of the Canberra Half Marathon. Rather than follow the leaders around the course, Jo and I sat at various points of the course for a little while watching the mid-packers come through before moving to our next vantage point. It was interesting to watch everyone go past. So many different people that would have varying stories as to why, on that Sunday, they were running in a half marathon around a lake in Canberra. It would have been great to be able to jog beside some of the runners for a little while and ask them what their story was. I hope that their stories inspire some of their friends, family and colleagues to write their own running story.

As a final note, professional triathlete Steve Larsen passed away earlier in the week. After reading or listening to any interview with Steve, I always felt more motivated to experience life. It was very sad to read of his passing and reminded me of easily time can stop and not give you a second chance at chasing dreams.

Two Steps Forward - One Step Back

2009-05-15T16:16:00.004+10:00

I have included a picture of my post-op ride below...not quite as aero as my usual ride, but it is much easier to ride given my current level of flexibility.

To my neighbours that saw me taking photos of myself in the basement carpark, I am sure that you will have some laughs with your friends about the Lance wannabe riding around a carpark on a cruiser with a basket. It might be another couple of weeks before I get out on the road, so until then it is the wind-trainer and the carpark.

I have been swimming once so far. It was definitely a case of checking my ego at the door - especially with what looked like a national junior squad visiting from Japan a couple of lanes across. I was thinking about how the current recession would impact the ability of such squads to travel and get international experience while I was swimming. I was feeling pretty good by the end of the session and feel like I am close to mastering the art of face-up kicking (i.e. backstroke with no arms). It makes you really focus on your body position in the water and could be of benefit to my freestyle once I get the flexibility and strength to start using my arms and pulling through the water.

After making some great headway into the rehabilitation process last week, I spent some more time at work this week. The downside of this was that I was a little sore and tired by the time that I finished the day and in need of rest. So my rehab wasn't great this week. It is a tough balance. The old saying of 'your health comes first' is a tough one to grasp when you have to earn an income. The obligation that you feel towards your employer is strong - as is your desire to work on getting to a reasonable level of comfort and fitness as quickly as possible. This week has really highlighted to me the need to have a sufficient financial buffer in the bank to make sure you really can put your health first.

I have spent a little time this week surfing the web for more of the Neurofibromatosis (NF) groups (Schwannomatosis is one of the three identified forms of NF). There are some stories in those forums that really make me think and there is tremendous support within the forums for those that are living life with any of the forms of NF. As many of my friends are aware, there is no Hollywood ending with NF - it is not a battle that is won or lost. NF is a lifelong condition without a cure. But as I read this week, members of the NFA Ireland have found that people with NF are resilient, with many continuing to live an outgoing lifestyle despite of the challenges. It would be fantastic if someone out there who is worried about the effects of Schwannomatosis on their life and searching the web for answers were to stumble across this blog and see that a very active lifestyle is possible.

Recovery and Other Thoughts

2009-05-06T16:42:00.002+10:00

The picture above is of professional triathlete, Tim de Boom. I was lucky enough to meet Tim at Ironman Australia this year (and even luckier to have Kegga there with a camera as mine had flat batteries). It was the first time that Tim had raced in Australia since I started in the sport. When I raced my first Ironman, Tim was the reigning world champ. Some readers may not be aware of Tim's past so to bring you up to speed, the guy came through the amateur ranks to be a two time Ironman world champion. In his quest for a three-peet, he passed a kidney stone during the run. This guy is seriously tough!

At this time two weeks ago I was probably stretched out, face down, with a number of people working to control my body while removing four schwannomas. Today, I have walked to work to make sure I still have clients, caught up with some friends and driven a car (I know you are shaking your head at the last one – but I did a test drive in the car park first to make sure I could handle it). Later on today I am hoping to get on my wind trainer for my second ride since the op. I had my first ride yesterday. I wore my HR monitor to make sure that my body was not getting too stressed by the exercise. I will be looking to keep well within my aerobic zone over the next month. My average HR for the thirty minutes was 117bpm. I was sitting very upright, holding my weight on the aero-bar pads with my hands. I will probably adjust the set-up of my bike and raise the bars slightly to allow for the decrease in flexibility.

Up until yesterday evening I was experiencing some pain in my lower back to the right hand side of the wound. After the ride and some more rest, the pain stopped. Nothing like a bit of active recovery!! The wound is looking clean, with the surgeon doing a fantastic job, so I think I will be hitting the pool this weekend. From previous experience, I will not feel comfortable with my arms out in front of my body to do freestyle for a little while yet. I should however be able to lie face up and hold the kickboard on my chest to do some kicking. I have let my diet slip over the last week so getting stuck into rehab will really help – both mentally and to start burning off those calories.

I have spent some time over the last two weeks reflecting on where I am at in my life and considering the direction that I would like to take things. As I mentioned in my last post, this last surgery and the expectation of more to come in the near future weighed heavily on my mind. Trying to identify a career path that will facilitate smooth transitions between surgery, recovery and normal times is difficult. There are likely to be many more people like me out there that are well enough to continue to contribute to society, but spend a large percentage of their resources on ensuring that they are able to correct and maintain serious health issues. There is not pension for this group. And to answer the question that is often put to me by friends and family when I express how much my health condition costs me, yes, I could have most things covered by the public health system. There are, however, drawbacks to relying on the public health system. My condition is, in most instances, not considered life threatening. Take the tumours that I have recently had resected. Only the tumours in my spinal canal may have been considered to be placed in a priority queue. Both my brachial plexus and right sciatic nerve tumours would have seen me waiting for the state government’s budget to allow for them to commit the resources. On one occasion I was directly asked by a surgeon whether I had private health, because if I didn’t, they would have to delay the surgery until the next financial year due to directives given by the state government. So, given the current state of play, I pay for a private health insurance policy. The insurer contributes towards the cost of my surgery. The government makes a contribution and I make a contribution (see diagram on the right below, the insurers contribution in purple, mine in yellow and Medicare blue). By having the surgery before the tumours become too debilitating, I am able to continue to contribute (i.e. hold down a job) and recover much faster. I am a bad customer for the insurer as I am claiming all of the premium (and probably more), but do not rely on government pensions in any way as I am able to hold down a job.

So why am I going on this rant – keep an eye on the budget next week. All signs are looking towards the federal government making things tough for the private health insurers while expanding their deficit in a number of non-health related areas. There simply won’t be enough money to carry any additional burden of those people that can no longer afford to contribute towards the treatment of their health conditions due to the impact on the insurers of policy changes (not to mention the loss of jobs due to the recession). In any case, it might be a little difficult to justify a government based health pension while trying to break 10hrs for the ironman – so I’d better keep focused on recovering as quickly as possible so that I keep my job!

A bit of a rant this week – a lot of time lying around…better set-up the wind trainer.

SG

Bustin' Out

2009-04-27T17:21:00.002+10:00

I'll keep this post short and sweet as I am still not sitting for an extended period of time. I came out of Cabrini Hospital in Melbourne this morning to continue recovery from my laminectomy. The surgeon removed four schwannomas between T11 and L2. Prior to the surgery some weakness was identified in my left leg. This is consistent with some observations that my physio had made. Time will tell if there is still some weakness or if this operation has addressed the cause. It can be a little difficult with a number of tumors that might be the cause of the problem to identify those that are most likely to be causing the problem.
The staff at the hospital were incredible and made the experience as pleasant is it could possibly be. My surgeon was fantastic - there is no possible way to show these people the thanks that they deserve...but I will continue to express to them how much their help means.
I had one really bad night which knocked my confidence around a little, but hopefully my first night without the safety of a buzzer will be a good one and I will be full of enthusiasm to attack the rehabilitation process.
Mentally, the operation has taken a toll this time...maybe a few hours of walking outdoors will press the reset button and I will be back on track. It is hard to not feel like a sick person when you are constantly in hospital...my friends have been trying to tell me that I am not quite right for years!

O - Day

2009-04-20T08:04:00.003+10:00

Anyone that has been to university in Australia will have experienced O-Week to some degree. It is a week long party that kicks of the academic year. For many students, O-Week will involve meeting new people, filling out a bunch of paperwork, being in and out of consciousness, having headaches and possibly vomiting…sounds a little like what I expect of my Operation Day.

I am now two days from checking into hospital for a laminectomy to remove up to three schwannomas from T11 – L3. While it is not possible to determine with absolute certainty that the growths are benign schwannomas prior to removal and review, given the genetic condition that I have and past experience, the growths are discussed as if they are schwannomas unless there is reason to believe otherwise. As you can probably imagine I spent the weekend a little anxious about what is ahead of me. I have had three laminectomies to remove schwannomas in the past and know what is ahead of me – which is probably why I am getting anxious.

I have one day left in the office at work before going off-line for an unknown period of time. There is still plenty of work to be done, so I will have to work hard to just relax and trust that I will be able to attend to it a couple of days after the operation.

Training for fun

Since the Ironman (April 5) I have been gradually getting back in to some training, although training is probably not the best way to describe it. I have been swimming (only once…post op I WILL do more swimming), riding and running. I have been doing these things for fun – not structured, just fun. This can be hard to explain – I tried to explain it to a friend as we were driving back from dropping her partner at the airport on Sunday morning. The removal of a specific event that I am preparing for doesn’t remove the joy that I get from getting out and exercising. So, that is what I have been doing. No real structure. I know that I will try and around one hour done each day and that will keep me happy. A few months ago Gordo Byrn wrote about keeping a baseline level of activity for his mental wellbeing (that is how I read it anyway). The figure that he had determined was the baseline for him was 10 hrs. This is consistent with what I have observed in myself. I have known for sometime that with 10hrs+ per week I am a much more relaxed person. So post Ironman, I still try and get my 10hrs of exercise done, even if it is 10hrs of walking.

Enjoying the activities that are core to triathlon make a big difference to how you view the sport. The work comes in when you try and stop yourself from getting out and having fun – I’ll have plenty of work to do during the weeks of recovery from this operation!

One Week Post Ironman

2009-04-13T09:20:00.000+10:00

It has now been one week since Ironman Australia and I feel that my body is recovering really well. I wont write a full race report, but will share some of the feelings that I had at various points throughout the race.

The Swim: After an early setback with my goggles being knocked off (just caught them before they were never to be seen again!), I had a good swim. At times I felt as though I might need to ease off a little, so I did. Given the training that I did, swimming a PB of just under 1hr was what I has expecting and hoping for.

The Ride:
I felt a little average for long sections of the bike. I think I was having a slightly off day and couldn't get into the groove and feel strong. But still, the ride was very close to a PB (may have been a PB), but I will need to work on a plan to make the next breakthrough on the bike.

The Run:
I felt on top of the world for most of the first of three laps. Having a discussion in my head about how much I love running. During the second lap, I started to feel pretty average and decided it was best to stop at the aid stations for a little bit and really take on some nutrition rather than just splashing Coke, Gatorade and water towards my mouth. This seemed to make all the difference and I was able to pull myself together for the third lap. A run PB by close to four minutes. I missed my goal time by five minutes, but know that my goal time is within reach.
I had a total time of 10hrs 11min which is a ten minute PB. I was stoked crossing the finishline, as I had managed to battle some demons on the run. These demons have had the better of me in the past, but in my training I had prepared myself for these demons - and it paid off.

So with the Ironman completed, it was time to shift focus on to the next major event in my life, surgery. I am booked for another multi-level laminectomy on 22 April. In my last round of scanning (February/March 2009), one of the schwannomas in my spinal canal demonstrated significant growth over the last eight months. So the shoulder surgery that I had been booked in for was changed to back surgery. There were a few other things that were shown in the scanning, but they will be dealt with at a later date. I scheduled the surgery for a short period after the ironman so that I could be recovered from the race but still be fit and strong from the preparation. I was also hoping that I would be able to recover from the surgery in time to to prepare for next summer...only time will tell on that. I will still need the shoulder surgery soon, so that may interrupt the year a little.

Jo and I had talked about heading up to Mt Kosciusko at some stage this year. When the news came through about my back, I knew that it would not be in the two months following surgery, so we decided to take off on Good Friday and walk from Charlotte Pass to the summit. It was a great day. The weather was a little threatening for most of the work which added to the day, making us acknowledge how susceptible to the elements we are in environments like that. It was Jo's first time in the Australian alpine region and she loved it.

My training this week has consisted mainly of walking. The summit walk, 18km round trip, was probably a little too far at this stage of recovery. But it was something that I wanted to do with Jo. In another week, I'll be unable to walk more than 100m without needing to rest. I did a run/walk yesterday doing 2min running to 1min walking for 30mins before having a 5min walk and then doing another 10mins alternating. I find this is a really good way to recover from injury/intense effort as you get the mental benefit of running without the physical toll on your body. This week I will shift to more cycling, running and swimming with the running sessions lasting around 30mins. It will be more about ticking over and get the body strong for the operation.

I am going to try and incorporate some pics for the first time in the posting. Hopefully they work out.

Steve

New Blog

2009-04-13T09:14:00.000+10:00

I've decided to move my blog over to Blogger. The old posts can still be found at http://steveg.myblogsite.com